Always and Forever
by StillUsingHandles
Summary: Takes place 6 months after the movie ends. Follows the characters as they try to figure out their lives. I've tried to stay as true as I can to how I think the characters would really act and what sort of situations they would find themselves in. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**-CHAPTER 1- **

Zach silently sits at the table and ponders. Pen and paper in front of him. He scans his and Shaun's condo and he smiles. As he picks up the pen and begins to write, Shaun stands in the doorway and stares at Zach. He is deep in thought. A collection of words come to Shaun's mind to describe Zach; attractive, beautiful, charming, compassionate, intelligent, responsible, decent, honorable, and sexy. He smiles and goes back in the other room so he doesn't distract him. Zach unaware of Shaun's presence continues his writing…

Tori,

We never went more than a week without seeing each other and it's been 6 months now since I left. So I'm going old school and writing you a letter. I hope you are doin well Monkey. You know that I want the best for you. I only have a few minutes before I need to leave for school. I just want to let you know that I am doing really well. Amazing in fact. I didn't know life could be this great. Cal Arts is pretty fucking great, Tori. Only 5 months into the school year, and I already lined up a summer internship working for a film studio doing designs for movie sets they are shooting around LA. I didn't even need Shaun's help with that, they liked me. They actually liked me and my art. Can you fucking believe it? Shaun's been busy, he's pitching his book to a bunch of execs. Things are going pretty great with him, ya know relationship wise. – _Zach stops for a moment and thinks 'Fuck I sound so gay' But he continues to write_ – It's different. I mean God, Tori it's different. If you asked me a year ago where I would be and told me I'd have all this I would have thought you were fuckin drunk and spouting shit but it's great. Me, Shaun, and Cody are family. The family I always wanted but never dreamed of having.

The little man started kindergarten. He asks about you. I really don't think Jeannie is coming back. Truth is, she hasn't contacted me once. Not even to check in on her own son. I love her, but how can you be a mother and just leave your kid, move a thousand miles away and not even check in? Shaun is trying to talk me into sending her papers to sign away her rights. I don't know if I can do that though. To my sister? Cody asks about her less and less as time goes by. First it was "Will Mom know where to find us since we moved?", "When is she coming back?", "Why hasn't she called?", and the questions became less and less. I think he realizes it too. But honestly without me, Cody would be fuckin lost with Jeannie so I don't know what to do? Ok Tori, I gotta go. Miss ya. I hope you come down and see the place. You know you're always welcome down here monkey (I promise I won't try to fuck you).

-Zach

Zach just kept looking at the letter. Analyzing every word. Should I say this? Should I not have said that? Is it weird to talk about this with my ex? He thinks but eventually he decided that was good enough. "Well that was a trip" Zach said out loud as he sealed the letter and left it on the counter of his and Shaun's condo in LA. Zach had been thinking of San Pedro a lot over the last few weeks, and of course Tori was a big part of his life then. Zach hurried to the living room to grab his backpack. He had spent more time on the letter, and reminiscing then he had the time for. He looked down at his watch "Shit." he said loudly. "I am fucking late. Ugh damnit."

Cody came walking in. "Those are bad words. Don't say them."

Zach turned around unaware that Cody had been there. "I'm sorry codes. I know those are bad words and you shouldn't say them." Zach smiled walking over to pick Cody up. "Shaun's gonna take you to school today. I gotta get to school too buddy."

"I love school Daddy!" Cody says smiling. Zach still can't get over the fact that Cody calls him Daddy but it does make him happy. I am a Dad now, he thinks.

"Ankle biter. You ready?" Shaun asks coming down the stairs in a suit.

Cody smiles. "Yeah. I was telling Daddy how much I love school." Shaun loves that Cody calls Zach, Daddy. It takes his breath away watching Zach be happy. He quickly snaps out of adoring him to answer Zach's questions.

"Someone's dressed up!" Zach says as he walked over to kiss him on the cheek.

Shaun just stares at Zach. It hasn't been but 10 minutes since Shaun was watching Zach as he was writing. He looked so serious, so contemplative, and so sexy. "Yup. I got meetings today pitching the book. Gotta be dressed to kill babe."

"Dressed to kill?" Cody asked with a puzzled look on his face.

Zach and Shaun laugh. "It's just a saying buddy." Shaun says.

"I am late. I gotta jet" Zach declares hurrying out of the room. "I'll see you tonight. Good luck my boys." He says as he heads out the door.

Cody looks up at Shaun and asks. "Papa Shaun." And the questions just started pouring out. "Some kids in my class were saying that I come from a sick family? Do you and Daddy need help? What does that mean? I don't think you have a cold? I didn't get invited to Billy's birthday party because he said his parent's didn't want me there. Do they not like me? You? Daddy?" So innocent, and unaware of this reality.

Shaun just looked at him. He knew these questions were going to come eventually, but he was praying it would be much later though. "Well Cody, me and your Daddy are great. Not the least bit sick. Not even a sniffle." He paused, thinking of what to say next but Cody continued.

Cody looked up and said. "Okay can I have pancakes for dinner?"

"You know it ankle biter!" Shaun said as he and Cody walked out of the house. That went better than expected he thought. Fucking assholes teaching their kids that shit. This is just the start of it too, Shaun thought.

**-At Cal Arts**

Zach hurried to his Art History class, he was already about ten minutes late and this instructor had it out for him for some reason that even Zach himself was unaware of. He opens the door to his class. "Well well well Zach. Nice of you to join. I see my time means little to you." Professor Stevens says. "Travis would have been here on time."

Zach wonders who Travis is but says nothing as he takes his seat and pulls out his book, he whispers to the girl sitting next to him. "Did I miss anything?"

Suzy looked at him and smiled "Not a thing. The dumbass just likes the sound of his own voice." she said with a laugh. Zach nodded.

**-At Cody's School**

"See you tonight Cody!" Shaun says as Cody leaves for his classroom.

"K papa Shaun." Cody says running to the door. He's just loves learning.

Shaun realizes his cell is vibrating in his pocket as he gets back in his car. Gabe's name flashes on the caller ID.

"Hey little brother." he says as he answers.

"What's crackalackin you old cougar you?" Gabe says with a laugh.

"Nice talking to you too. What do you want Gabe?" he asks sarcastically.

"Well well well old man. Someone's cranky. Remember my best friend will be the one picking what home to put you in." Gabe says with a brief pause "I just wanted to let you know Mom called_. Her and Daddy hit a bit of a rough patch_. Her fucking words not mine."

"Oh?" Shaun says "What did Larry do this time?" he was quick to ask.

Gabe laughs. "Larry fucked Zach."

"Gabe." Shaun said with a roll of his eyes. "What do you want? Larry and Mom fight all the time now."

"Well big bro, she's moving into your little summer love nest." Gabe said.

"That's fucking ridiculous. What is Mom going to do in that town? She's going to get over it and go back with Larry in Laguna Beach. You know it and I know it." Shaun says.

Gabe was silent for a minute.

"Gabe, you there? Gabe? Gabe?" Shaun yelled into the phone.

"Oh sorry Bro. This fucking hot chick just walked by, and her ass. hmm. Her ass was something else. You know how it is. Oh ha maybe not."

"Little brother. I have important things to do today. Like fucking your best friend later tonight. And making pancakes. So if you want me to talk about that for the next hour, I suggest you say bye."

Gabe gets a smirk on his face. "Well…" He says with a long pause. "How is the sex? Scale of 1 to 10. And pankcakes? What the fuck is that doing in the same sentence? Did you name it pancakes or something? HA."

"An 11 and bye bye Gabe. Have fun dealing with the Mama drama. Thank God she hardly calls me. Being gay finally pays off." Shaun says as he hangs up.

"Wait bro, there's more..." Gabe says before realizing Shaun already hung up. "That fag hung up on me. First he fucks my best friend, then he hangs up on me. He's getting shit for Christmas this year. Guess I can tell him the rest tonight when I show up for a loan. That fucking book of his better sell fast." he thinks to himself out loud.

**-Shaun and Zach's Condo**

Later that night. Shaun, Cody, and Zach are eating dinner at the table. Cody has pancakes, his favorite. The doorbell rings.

"Whose here, whose here, whose here?" Cody says excitedly.

"I dunno buddy. Let's find out." Zach says as he gets up to get the door.

Zach opens the door to find Gabe "Oh good. You got clothes on. For some reason I just think you two fuck all day." Gabe says.

"Shut up bro. What you doin here?" Zach asks as he gives a quick hug to Gabe.

"Shaun." Zach yells. "Gabe's here." Zach steps aside to let Gabe in the door "You want a beer?" Zach asks, but Gabe shakes his head no.

Shaun and Cody both come walking towards the door.

"Code man, you been keepin it real playboy?" Gabe asks as he leans over to give Cody a high-five.

"Cody. Give us a minute. Go and finish your dinner, k?" Shaun says to Cody.

Cody looks at the grownups and says "Ok." but he'd rather be in the living room.

"What the fuck man? Why didn't you say you were coming on the phone earlier?" Shaun asks as Gabe walks in. Shaun briefly hugs Gabe but seems a bit distracted.

Gabe rolls his eyes "You hung up on me earlier dick - and I should be the one pissed. You've lived here 5 months, and I've yet to receive an invite to Casa De Gay!" Shaun is irritated. He's happy to see his brother, but he wanted a nice quiet evening at home with Zach.

Zach quickly interrupts "I am going to go check on Cody." he says as he leaves the room. It's still a little awkward with Gabe. Zach knows it shouldn't be, but they hardly see each other anymore and it's just a new dynamic. Shaun is his life, and it's been harder to incorporate his old life with his new life.

"So princess big brother, I need to finish our little convo from earlier..." Gabe paused and looked serious, which made Shaun feel very unsettled.

Not wanting this conversation to last any longer, Shaun blurts out "Spit it out Gabe. What's wrong?"

Gabe gulped. "Dad, lost a lot of money on an investment he made, and umm well he's pretty much broke."

"What?" Shaun asked in shock.

"Get a hearing aid you old fuck. Your - Daddy's - broke!" Gabe slowly shouted.

It annoyed Shaun deeply every time someone referred to Larry, as being his Dad. "Step Dad. Wow. Mom and Larry are broke. Holy shit." he says as Zach reenters the room.

Gabe is pacing in the living room about to speak and stops and looks at Zach "Hey bud are those our old walkie talkies?" he moves his eyes to the walkie talkies on the mantel both separated by a photo of Zach, Cody and Shaun. _Man that's gay_. Gabe thinks to himself.

Zach and Shaun look at the walkie talkies that are proudly on display "Um yeah man they are." Zach says with a slight grin. This snaps Shaun out of the mood he's been in and he cracks a smile as well.

Gabe understanding they mean something to his brother and Zach gets a look of disgust on his face "Ugh what the hell man? Did you guys use them for some fucking walkie talkie phone sex?"

"Do you really wanna know little brother?" Shaun teases him in fun.

"There are images in my head I won't be able to get out!" Gabe says half-jokingly. "Since you destroyed a favorite childhood memory, I feel it's okay to ask for money now."

"Ask for money?" Zach questions.

Gabe looked annoyed "Mom and Dad are divorcing. Dad lost all his money. Family is broke. Now you're up to speed. SOOOO" Gabe says as he turns back to Shaun "I need some cashola, big bro."

"Well I better work on my book then. Money's already tight." Shaun says without looking at Zach.

"I just need a grand or two." Gabe says.

Zack smiles at first but is sarcastic in response "Ohhh just a grand or two? Gabe that's a lot of fucking money."

Shaun walks over to Gabe "I'll write you a check. You have got to be responsible with it though - no spending it on your bar tabs! I am not a bank like your Daddy." Shaun says with a fatherly tone.

"Thanks bro and that wouldn't even cover the booze at some of my more infamous parties." Gabe says with a laugh.

Gabe quickly hugs Zach and Shaun, before taking the check. "Thanks bro, err bros. Zach don't be a stranger man. We need a surf ses pronto, bro. Later Codeman." He yells as he's heading out the door. But Cody didn't hear him.

Zach reaches for Shaun's hand. "We can't afford to be helping Gabe, can we with your parents and all…?"

Shaun tenses up. "Of course _I _can afford to help out my brother."

Rather Shaun's emphasis on 'I' was intentional or not, Zach steps back and drops Shaun's hand and suddenly realizes it's all Shaun's money. He isn't providing for him and Cody like he should and is leaving it all up to Shaun. "Alright. It's just with me in school, and you having to take care of us, I just know it's got to fucking hard on you" Zach's voice was trembling slightly. He bit his lower lip.

Shaun nods and simply says. "I love you. I will always put you and Cody first."

Zach grins. "I know, and I love you too. So much."

Cody enters the room. "Where's Uncle Gabe?" He asks.

"Hey kiddo. Uncle Gabe had to leave. He wanted me to tell you bye though." Zach says.

Cody shook his head "Oh. Okay" and ran back in the other room.

Shaun smiles "Man I love that kid."

"So... I am thinking about skipping my Art History class tomorrow morning, so I can take Cody to school. I'll leave school early to pick him up. Professor Stevens is a fucking asshole anyways so missing class is no problem." Zach says.

Shaun looked confused. "Why?"

"Why is he an asshole? I don't know." Zach replied.

Shaun shook his head. "No not about him, but about school."

"I just want you to be able to focus on your book. I know you have got that meeting with your publicist coming up and Cody is my responsibility..." Zach says but gets cut off by Shaun.

"No Zach. I don't want you to do that. School is just as important as my book! And as for Cody, you know I love that kid. I would do anything for him – anything for you."

Zach shakes his head. "HA! It's not paying the bills. I need to find a job at a restaurant or something at nights to help out. Cody's growing he's gonna need new clothes soon and it's not fair to you. I just need to be able to provide for him by myself. Fuckin Jeannie hasn't called or sent money or anything to help take care of her own son. She doesn't want us to be together, but has no problem letting you pay for everything." Zach says growing angry.

Shaun was growing impatient with the conversation, but he decided to ease up on Zach. He realizes it's hard for him. He put his hands on Zach's shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes. "Listen. I've got this all figured out babe. We are doing okay. I haven't depended on money from my parents in years. Their fucking up doesn't impact us at all." He nibbles on Zack's right ear. Then kisses his neck. Then his cheek, his forehead, and then lands on his lips. Slowly, but passionately kissing him. He can feel both him and Zach relax in posture almost immediately. Zach puts his hands on Shaun's face, and practically doesn't move his mouth off his lips. Shaun loves when he does that. He pulls their lips apart and just gazes into his eyes. Zach is smiling. He could stare at that damn smile of his all day, every day. Shaun starts talking again "At all. And I told you, I think we should send her papers for her to sign away her rights. She's no mother."

Zach sighs. "Ok. I think I am going to send the papers. I need to add him to my health insurance through school but I can only do that if he's my legal dependent."

Shaun walks away and into his study "That sounds great Zach. I've got the papers in my office to send. I'm gonna do some proof reading, and get my chapters in order to show Leslie at her office for our meeting on Friday." Shaun wants him and Zach to be the legal guardians and not just for the medical insurance. He knows Jeanne won't stand for that, so it's not a battle he's willing to get in right now with Zach. Down the road he thinks to himself.

Zach leaps to grab his arm "Hey. Hey, when are you going to let me read your book? I've been waiting. You won't even tell me what it's about. There's something so sensual for both of them in watching the other work on their respective art."

Shaun pulls away. "I told you. Not yet, soon though." Shaun gets in his office and closes the door and sighs. "I've got to tell him sooner or later" he says out loud while turning his laptop on "But how do I tell my boyfriend that I have been spending the last 6 months writing a book about my ex and our relationship?" He shakes his head uncertain on how he will take it. He wants Zach to be proud. Zach is the reason he started writing this book in the first place and he thinks back to that beautiful June day on the beach...

_SHAUN  
>You read it?<em>

_ZACH  
>Who knew there would be so much drama inside the gates of Pacific Bluffs? I never knew.<em>

_SHAUN  
>You never really know what's happening inside.<em>

_ZACH  
>Yeah, that's what I liked about it.<em>

_SHAUN  
>I did embellish a little bit. It is fiction.<em>

_ZACH  
>Changed a couple of names?<em>

_SHAUN  
>When did you read it?<em>

_ZACH  
>When it came out.<em>

_SHAUN  
>Huh. Funny, Gabe never mentioned anything.<em>

_ZACH  
>I never told him. Why would he tell you?<em>

_SHAUN  
>I just never knew that you knew about me. You really <em>

_ZACH  
>What's the new one about?<em>

_SHAUN  
>Uhh, still trying to figure that one out. Don't really have a subject yet. But, I'll get it back.<em>

_ZACH  
>I hope so. You're good.<em>

_SHAUN  
>You really liked it?<em>

_ZACH  
>Yeah. You hungry?<em>

_SHAUN  
>Yeah, you wanna go to the Shack or something?<em>

_ZACH  
>Yeah, definitely.<em>

That was a big moment for Shaun. He doubts that Zach even realizes what that conversation means to him. It brought him to life. He decided to write what he knew, and the words just came. The book isn't completely about Travis. He thinks, trying to make it sound better. "So there's ya know 4, 5, maybe 7 chapters that reference him." He mumbles out loud. Maybe I should go all Nicholas Sparks and kill him off in the end? He thinks to himself. "Fuck."


	2. Chapter 2

**- CHAPTER 2 -**

**- Shaun and Zach's condo. 10pm, same day. **

Zach is in their bedroom watching some TV, he smiles when he sees Shaun enter the room. "Hey." He says.

Shaun can't help but smile looking at Zach in their bed, shirtless. "Hey." He says in reply.

"Did you have a good writing session?" Zach asks.

Shaun nods as he heads into their master bathroom. "Yeah. It was good. I just checked on Cody, he's fast asleep. I am going to take a quick shower and then hit the hay."

Zach pulls the covers off, turns off the TV and stands up revealing his naked body and smiles. "Want some company?" He says with a mischievously smile.

Shaun turns around "Hell yeah!" He says with a smile. The two of them walk into the bathroom, hand in hand.

**- The next morning**

"Shaun?" Zach yells from the bottom of the staircase.

Shaun walks to the staircase looking down at Zach "Yeah?"

"I had a letter on the counter, for Tori. Did you see it? I can't find it? He asks.

Shaun nods "Yeah I mailed it yesterday." Shaun doesn't know how he feels about Zach talking to Tori, but realizes he is probably being silly. She's his past. We all have one, he thinks.

Zach looks anxious "Oh. Ummm ok. Thanks." He says walking back into the living room.

Shaun walks down the stairs "Should I not have?" he asks.

Zach doesn't look at him "No. It's fine. I just wasn't sure if I was going to send it or not. It's fine though. Thanks."

Shaun stands behind Zach putting his hands on his waist, and rests his neck on Zach's shoulder and kisses his cheek "You look frazzled babe." he says.

Zach turns around and smiles "No I'm just gonna go downtown and try to get a job lined up. I filled out the papers to send to Jeannie. They on your desk, can you mail them. I just ummm just can't. I don't want to change my mind." Zach says with a heavy sigh.

"Of course Zach. I'll send them and take care of everything. But I thought we already discussed that you working isn't necessary. And you can't skip school." Shaun says.

Zack shakes his head "I need to find a job. School can wait."

Shaun raises his voice and simply says "FUCK NO!"

Zach was caught off-guard "I have to do what I have to do for our family" Zach says.

As much as Shaun was angered, that statement made him want to smile, kiss Zach, and punch him in the face for being so stupid to think that school isn't important, all at the same time. "Compromise?" Shaun says.

Zach looked confused "Compromise?"

Shaun nods "Yea babe compromise. I want you to promise me, that you will finish this term of school. We will reassess everything then. Not now. I don't want you making a rash decision that will fuck up your future."

Zach smiles "You do realize the reason we are together is because of a rash decision don't you? The moment I realized I had to have you is the night I drove to your house. And we made love. Four times. And you're my future but…"

Shaun cuts him off "I like to think that the reason we are together isn't because you got horny and lonely one night. But that's the past. Now will you promise me?"

Zach sighs "Fine. I will go to school. Not look for a job, and be a dependent on you for ever and ever my rich sugar Daddy." Zach says with full on attitude.

Shaun is becoming angry "Zach… Fuck. Why are you doing this?"

Zach moves closer and looks into Shaun's eyes "I am doing it for Cody, and you. But fuck you for treating me like your kept boy." He says angrily.

Shaun nods "I understand. But I want you to focus on school. You and your art inspire me. In the long run, school will be the best thing for you. Not working some shitty ass dead end job. It's stupid Zach, don't fucking throw this opportunity away."

"Why are you fighting?" a little voice shouts. Shaun and Zach look back to see Cody standing at the door frame.

"We're just talking kiddo." Zach says not convincingly enough.

Cody begins to cry "I don't want you leaving me like Jeanne." He sobs.

Zach and Shaun rush over to try to comfort the little boy "No one is leaving Cody." Zach says.

Shaun reaches for Cody's hand "We will never ever leave you Cody. Shaun looks at Zach "We love you more than anything."

Cody stops crying, but is still upset "Ok" he says.

Zach looks at his watch. It's almost time for school Codes. Can you go upstairs and get ready?"

Cody nods "Ok Zach." And he runs up stairs.

Zach shook his head and all he said to Shaun was "He called me Zach." And walks away.

Shaun runs his fingers through his own hair and wonders how he got to today. Him and Zach made love just hours ago, and he thought things were getting better. Why does Zach think he is not pulling his weight? Doesn't he know how much he means to me? I'd be lost without him. I'd be alone. Still grieving over a relationship that I knew wouldn't last, and still in love from afar with my little brothers best friend.

Zach comes back into the room with his backpack "I'm going to school." He says unhappily.

Shaun reaches for his hand, but Zach brushes it off "Um. Okay" he says.

"Can you take Cody to school?" Zach asks.

Shaun responds with "I love you."

Zach grows impatient "Can you take him to school, or not?"

"Of course" Shaun responds.

Zach walks towards the door "Thanks. Late."

Shaun heads up stairs to change. He was hopping Zach's hot and cold reactions were in the past. He checks in on Cody who is putting books into this backpack all dressed for school. "Hey kiddo, 5 more minutes and then we will be leaving for school."

Cody looks at Shaun "Ok." He says and then he quickly looks back at his books.

Shaun heads into his room and picks out his clothes. He changes, and grabs his phone and wallet and heads down stairs with Cody. They get in the car, and Shaun receives a text message. It's from Zach. All it says is

'I love you too'

Shaun smiles and he starts the car.

**- At Cal Arts, same day. 2 hours later.**

Zach is walking to his next class. He already had Art History, with Professor Stevens. His least favorite class. He was onto his next class, which he loves but it didn't start for another 15 minutes. He took his phone out of his pocket, hoping, praying that Shaun had responded to his text message. He felt awful about how he left things this morning with Shaun and Cody. He looked at the phone, but nothing. No messages from Shaun, or anyone for that matter. He was startled, when his phone rang. He didn't even look at the caller ID, he just knew and answered it with "I love you."

"Hey Monkey. I love ya too. Thanks for the letter." Tori said on the other end.

Zach was snapped back to reality. It was Tori who was calling him, not Shaun "Tori. Hey. You're welcome."

"It was really sweet of you. I've never got a handwritten letter in the mail" she said.

Zach smiled "I've missed you Monkey!" he said.

"I missed you too. It's nice to hear your voice, and um read your letter." she said with a laugh.

"Good to hear from you. What you been up too?" Zach asked.

Tori paused "Nothing. You know work, and the typical San Pedro shit. Me and umm Billy got together after you left. You know officially." she said.

"Oh." Zach said. He hated that guy. He felt weird at that moment. Not jealous really, but not happy. "That's umm cool. Happy for you T." he said trying to sound genuine.

Tori saw through it though and quickly changed the subject "So umm how's Shaun? Cody? School? Everything?"

"Great" came out of Zach's mouth so fast he didn't even realize he was saying it. "Great" he said again and laughed.

Tori paused again "That's great" Zach began to wonder if he should have said that. It's got to be a lot harder on her, than it is on him. Tori began to speak again "So I umm got a call from your sister the other day." She said.

Zach stopped walking "What? Jeannie called you?"

"Um yeah. She did. She started the conversation with asking if I had talked to you since you went all fag on us." Tori said.

"She said that did she?" Zach asked growing angry.

"Yeah. She umm wanted to know if she could come down and stay with me. She umm oh God Zach she…" Tori said but stopped.

"What is it Tori?" Zach asked.

"Have you not talked to her at all?" she asked.

Zach shook his head. He wasn't sure what he would be learning from this conversation "No. I haven't talked to her at all. What's going on?

Tori began to speak "I don't want to be the one to tell you this, but I guess I have to since the bitch doesn't call you herself. I told her she couldn't stay with me and uh then she told me she was pregnant, Zach"

"You've got to be fucking kidding me. Why the hell is she coming back here? She's not taking Cody if that's what she thinks. She can't take care of him and a baby." Zach said.

"'He's her son Zach." Tori said.

"I don't fucking care. She fucking got pregnant again? What does that asshole think of it?" Zach said practically shouting.

"Monkey, I know this isn't easy for you. She's coming back to see your Dad and have the baby. She's already 8 months pregnant. She knew she was pregnant when she moved to Portland." Tori said.

Zach was in complete shock. He didn't know where to begin "She's coming back? She's 8 months pregnant? She wants to stay with you? I umm. Uh. Ugh. Fuck."

"She isn't keeping the baby Zach. She's going to put it up for adoption. She didn't even want me to tell you. She just thought it would be easier." Tori tells him.

"Then why the fuck is she having it in San Pedro?" Zach asks.

"I think because she wants to take Cody back with her." Tori says.

Zach kicks the trash can he's standing next to. Trash goes everywhere "That makes no fucking sense at all. Drop off another kid that she has no fucking way of raising, to pick up her son that she left with me 6 months ago? Fuck that. I won't let her take my son." Zach said.

"Zach I shouldn't have called you. I'm sorry. I have to go." Tori says and hangs up.

Zach runs to the parking lot, and quickly drives back to his and Shaun's condo. He prays that Shaun is there. "Fuck Fuck Fuck." He screams the entire way home. Zach pulls into the drive way, Shaun's car is parked there. Thank God for that he thinks. He can't deal without him on this one.

Zach runs in the house, unsure of what to say. He yells for Shaun. "Shaun? Shaun? Where you at?"

"The office." Shaun yells.

Zach graces the doorframe "I umm…" He pauses thinking of what to say next. "I love you." He quickly says.

Shaun smiles "I love you too. Why you home so early? You okay?" Shaun asks with a tone Zach loves. It makes him feel so comfortable, so reassured, so loved, and so turned on that he cares.

Zach can't help it. Before he realizes what's going on he's pulled Shaun onto the floor of the office. Shaun's papers fly everywhere. Shaun is unable to even focus on what's going on. It's happening so quickly. He looks into Zach's eyes for a second until Zach kisses him. Shaun's shirt is practically ripped off of him. Zach takes off his own shirt and undoes his jeans. Shaun quickly gets with the program and takes off his pants. Clothes are flying all over the place. Zach is hit in the head with one of Shaun's shoes, he doesn't care. It doesn't even make him flinch. Zach's lips touch every inch of Shaun's body. It is finally now, that he slows down and takes his time. Every second is sensual; every kiss is sweeter than the last. They spend the next, what seems like days, blissfully making love without ever talking. Complete silence but incredibly beautiful.

Shaun looks at his watch and smiles. "You need to come home at 12:17 more often, Zach."

Zach smiles, but it quickly fades. "There's um something I need to tell you, Shaun."

"What is it?" Shaun asks as he puts his pants on.

Zach sits up. "There's no easy way to say this. So I am just gonna say it. Tori called me, and she said she had talked to Jeannie and I.." he says as Shaun interrupts him.

"Let me guess, she's moving back?" Shaun says shaking his head.

Zach bites his lip "No not exactly. Tori said that Jeannie is pregnant. 8 fucking months pregnant. And that she is coming back to have the baby and I guess put it up for adoption."

Shaun tenses up "What the hell is she coming back for then?" Shaun asks.

A tear falls from Zach's eye "Cody. She's coming back for Cody."

Shaun shakes his head in disbelievement. "Well we're not going to let that happen." Shaun says.

"How can we stop it? He's her son." Zach says.

Shaun puts his arm around Zach. "No. He's our son."

"I don't really see any judge saying that. I guess I need to hire a lawyer or something. Fuck I don't know." Zach says as he puts his face in his palms.

"We need to call Jeanne. We need to see what's going on. Maybe Tori's wrong. Maybe she's just trying to make you upset. I dunno." Shaun says trying to comfort him.

Zach seems annoyed at the thought that Shaun would think Tori would lie to him. "Tori wouldn't do that. I um, yeah let's call Jeannie."

Zach fumbles for his phone from his pocket, and he dials Jeannie's cell. "Voice Mail. Fucking typical." He says shaking his head until he hears the beep "Jeannie. It's Zach. Call me as soon as you get this."

Shaun picks up all the papers that were tussled about during their love making. "It'll be okay Zach. We always knew this could happen. Cody's not going anywhere. Trust me."

"I hope you're right. I'm sorry to tell you like this. I didn't intend to do what we did first." Zach says smiling.

Shaun laughs. "Never apologize for that. I love your passion; I love your…everything, Zach and about earlier, I hate it when we fight."

Zach nods. "I know you just want the best for me. It's just I feel like I don't do as much as you do for our family. That I am not contributing. That we are not equal. I think about you realizing that and growing to resent me or leave me and that just – that um just makes me go to a dark place." Zach says as he is getting more and more emotional.

"Know that I am here. Know that I am not going anywhere. Reach for my hand, whenever you feel like we are drifting. Understand, that I love you. You make me want to get up in the morning every day, well actually you make me want to stay in bed and hold onto you forever." Shaun says smiling.

Zach smiles. "So what do we do, while we wait for Jeannie?" Zach asks.

"Love each other. Have a blast with Cody. Live our lives the best we can." Shaun says matter-of-factly.

"Can we just have sex, Shaun? That's all I want to do at this minute. It's the only thing that makes sense and..." Zach is cut off as Shaun races over and kisses him.

"I" Shaun kisses his neck "Wish" kisses his cheek "That" kisses his lips "We" lips again "Could" pulls their lips apart and stares into Zach's eyes. "That we could make love. But I uh don't think I can last another round. Remember I am not as young as you, young grasshopper."

Zach laughs. "Has Master gotten Ollllllllllld? You're still hella sexy though for an old dude."

"Fuck off." Shaun says with a laugh.

"Hey learn to take a compliment." Zach says with a smirk. They embrace, and exit the office.

Shaun looks down at his watch "It's almost time to pick Cody up. You want me to go pick him up? You probably wanna head back to school don't ya?"

Zach shakes his head. "School will be there tomorrow. I wanna spend the rest of the day with you. Let's pick up Cody together." He says.

"Together? You sure?" Shaun asks thinking that even though they have been together for over 6 months Zach has never wanted to be together…together at Cody's school or other highly public places. He still isn't totally comfortable being out and about with being out. But Shaun understood, he needed time.

"Positive." Zach replied.

"Ok. Let's go pick up our son then, shall we?" Shaun says while grabbing his partner's hand.


	3. Chapter 3

**- CHAPTER** **3** -

**- Same day. In the Car, on the way to Cody's School.**

They drove to Cody's school almost in silence. Zach ponders what will happen if he and Shaun lose custody of Cody to Jeanne. Zach can't keep the thoughts inside any longer and he begins to blurt out everything that he is thinking. "Should we offer her money for Cody to stay? Should we hire a lawyer? She can't afford a lawyer. Should we tell Cody? Ask him if he wants to stay with us? Should we…" Shaun puts his hand over Zach's mouth.

"Babe. Listen. Let's not worry about that yet." Shaun says trying to comfort him.

Zach turns his head to look away from Shaun. "Should we try to get the baby? Would you even want….one?" Zach asks.

Shaun parks the car in front of Cody's school. They are a couple minutes early. "I didn't even think about that Zach." Shaun says laughing.

"What the fuck dude? Why are you laughing?" Zach demands.

Shaun shakes his head. "I just can't believe any of this is happening. Yes. If you want to try to get your newest niece or nephew away from that selfish bitch, I am behind you a 100 percent. Cody would love a baby brother or sister." Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Cody running down the steps of his school.

"I just don't know." Zach says as he gets out of the passenger seat to greet Cody. "Hey Kiddo!"

"Daddy!" Cody squeals surprised to see Zach.

"Yeah kiddo. We both wanted to pick you up." Zach says grabbing Cody's backpack to put in the car.

Shaun smiles. "Yeah and take you to get ice cream. You want ice cream don't ya buddy?"

Cody nods in excitement. "Yeah Papa Shaun. I love ice cream."

And of course, it is now that Zach gets a phone call. He glances at the caller ID 'Jeanne's Cell'. He looks at Shaun and without even telling him, they both know.

"Ankle biter. You wanna show me around your school real real quick?" Shaun asks as excitedly as he can so he and Cody can get as far away from the phone call as possible.

"Sure." Cody answered happily. Both him and Shaun get out the car and start to go back into the school.

"Hello." Zach says while answering the phone.

"Hi Zach. You called. Everything okay?" Jeannie asked.

Zach had to remember to breathe. He was so angry but needed to push that to the side so Jeannie didn't get defensive immediately. "Everything's fine. Just wanted to check in with you. You haven't called. Cody, you remember him right? Your son…" Zach bites his lip. 'Shouldn't have said that' he thinks to himself.

Jeannie gets defensive. "Of course I remember my son. I just didn't want to bother you guys and confuse him. I'm sure your deviant sex acts confuse him enough already."

"Fuck you Jeannie." Zach says. He realized how unprepared for this call he really is. He's never said that to his sister. She's said it to him plenty of times, but he's never uttered it to her.

"Wow… Zach. That boyfriend of yours must be a great fuckin role model. I can tell you've learned to really value family since I've been gone."

"I talked to Tori today." Zach blurts out.

"Oh?" Jeannie pauses. "And what of it?"

"Were you gonna tell me?" He asks.

"If you weren't caught were you gonna tell me you were a fag, Zach?" She replies.

"Jeannie. This isn't about me or Shaun. This is about you. Answer my question."

Jeannie sighs. "No. I wasn't going to tell you, Zach. It's none of your fucking business anyways."

Zach nods. "None of my fucking business? Oh nice Jeannie. How's Allan, he still around? Well it is Allan's right?"

"Yeah Zach. It's Allan's. He doesn't want it. What did you expect? I didn't tell him until it was too late to have an abortion. He said he didn't want it. So I got into a fight with him, he threw me down the stairs. After that he said I could either have the baby or Cody. And well Cody's already trained for the most part or whatever and I get lonely here..."

Zach is livid but he still cares for his sister. He wants to try and not explode. "You coming to San Pedro?"

"Yeah. I'm um getting a ride from this girl I met. She's going down in a couple weeks. I'm gonna have the baby down there. And I'm taking Cody back with me. I'll need some cash though."

"Thought they didn't allow kids down there, Jeannie?" Zach asks.

"If Allan changes his mind, I'll send him back. He's my son ya know." Jeannie says without a hint of anger. It made Zach feel a little more at ease.

Zach looks and sees Cody leading Shaun back to the car. "Look Jeannie. Call me when you get back to town. I have to go. Me and my boyfriend are taking our son out for ice cream." Zach ends the call just as Cody opens the door.

Shaun looks at Zach to try and gage how things went and then looks at Cody and asks. "Ready to go?"

"Yes!" The boy replies happily, unaware of the war that was starting.

Shaun starts the car and they leave the school. One hand on the wheel, one hand connected with Zach's. Cody sees this and says smiling. "I'm glad you love each other again."

"We've always loved each other Cody!" Shaun says while pausing. "In fact, I've loved your Daddy for five years. Since you were a baby, kiddo!" Shaun says while looking at Zach.

Zach looks confused. "Five years?" He asks.

"I've um never told you that." Shaun pauses. He's a bit worried that Zach will be weirded out. "I've known since the summer I came back for your and Gabes graduation."

Zach grins. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Would it have mattered?" Shaun asks.

Zach bites his lip. "I dunno. I guess not. Maybe? It's in the past. I can't believe it was then that you knew. We hardly saw each other at all that summer. I was busy at the diner, with Tori, with Cody, and ya know that summer was hard on me because of Mom." He says not wanting to go into more details with Cody in the car.

"That's partly why I knew. You were so strong, and so driven. Even at 18 I knew you were someone I could fall in love with." Shaun says while looking in the rearview mirror at Cody. "I um uh didn't tell anyone. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops though."

Zach smiles. "That just earned you a repeat performance of what happened earlier. Not gonna take it easy on you either old man." He says with a laugh. Thankfully Cody didn't understand a word of this conversation.

"There's still things Master can teach young student." Shaun is quick to point out.

**- 2 days later. At Leslie Webber's Office.**

Shaun walks in the office and is greeted by the smiling receptionist. "Hi Mr. Andrews."

Shaun smiles. "Hi Rebecca, and again please call me Shaun."

Rebecca nods. "Of course. Hi Shaun. Leslie should be ready for you. Let me check." Rebecca picks up the phone and calls back to Leslie's office. "Hi - Mr. Andrews is here for you. Yes. Okay. Thanks Leslie." She hangs up the phone. "She's ready for you Shaun." Shaun smiles and heads back to the office. She checks out Shaun's ass as he walks back towards Leslie.

"Shaun. Wonderful to see you again. 7 months is far too long to go without seeing me." She pauses while hugging Shaun. "I read your latest chapters, the ones that you mailed to the office, and must say that they are delightful. I laughed, I cried, it made me horny for man on man lovin, I thought it was beautiful. I've pitched it to a few of my closet gal pals with River Rock Publishing, and they loved it too."

Shaun really enjoys working with Leslie. She's in her forty's and is a wonderful agent. She is very pushy though, which Shaun is usually fine with. "That's great. I am excited. The book is really coming together." He says.

Leslie's assistant Rebecca walks in with a tray of water and ice tea. She leaves it on Leslie's desk while making sure to bend over right in front of Shaun, and then turns and smiles and heads back out the door. "Thanks Doll." Leslie says as she exits.

Shaun smiles.

"So you got anymore chapters, hun?" Leslie asks.

Shaun nods. "I do have a few more. I am having some problems with how I want to end it. I'm kinda stuck."

Leslie taps her finger against her chin. "Well let me have your latest chapters, for me to look over and I will brainstorm with you." She smiles.

Shaun pulls his neatly organized briefcase up to the desk and takes out his recent chapters. "Sorry a few of them got a little bent." He says laughing as he thinks back to two days ago and his tryst with Zach in the office.

"That's quite alright hun." Leslie says with a smile. "You know what? I'm so rude. How are you and Travis doing?"

"Um we're over actually." Shaun says.

Leslie looks surprised "Really? I'm so sorry hun." She says sympathetically.

Shaun smiles slightly. "Thanks Leslie. It's for the best. It happened last June so I am long over it."

Leslie claps her hands. "Bravo Shaun. After my last break up, I didn't leave the house for 6 months except to work and I gained 30 pounds. I was able to bed the pizza delivery guy a few times sure, but the pain was still there." She says laughing. "I know some great guys if you are lookin!" She says with a wink.

"I'm good Leslie. Thanks though. So about the chapters…"

Leslie seems to understand and begins reading Shaun's latest chapter and stop. "It's good... Not as great as the previous ones though. You seem to be trying to drift from the 'present' in your book and head back to the 'past' she says."

Shaun seems focused. "I just wanted to take a different route."

"Well you missed the mark on this one, I think Shaun. I think you should maybe try to move this chapter around a bit. Delete all this stuff about your biological Father, that's for a different book…I think you need to finish up the Barcelona trip with Travis when you proposed." She says.

Shaun shakes his head. "I think that's where I want to end it with Travis in the book. I don't want to make this book completely true, it's fiction so I don't have to reveal that he said no and flew back to our house and told me to get out." Shaun says realizing that he isn't ready to talk about this. He isn't ready to tell Zach. It's in his past and that's where he wants to bury it.

"Shaun. I think it's a mistake. The reader wants to see how it ends with you two. That to me, is what the book is about. Nothing more tragic then giving your all to a person and having them walk right out on you. It's so vulnerable, and makes love seem that much more precious and agonizing all at that same time. That is your book." She says enthusiastically.

"But I.."

"But nothing. Let Leslie talk you into this one, hun."

Shaun nods. "Okay."

"You know what I think our readers would love?" She asks getting a gleam in her eyes. "A summer fuck. After a 3 and a half year relationship and getting left the reader will sympathize with a nice summer fuck!"

Shaun shakes his head "No. I refuse to put a 'summer fuck' in my book. I am in a happy and committed relationship. This is no rebound. No summer fuck."

"Ah. I see Shaun. Well, tell me about him? There might be something we can use there."

Shaun was tensing up. "No. I won't be putting Zach in my book."

"Zach. He sounds yummy. Tell me about him." She digs at him for more.

"There's nothing to tell. Zach is my everything, and I told you I am not talking about him in my book."

"Is he fucking you on the down low or something? He got a wife? You were fine to talk about your relationships in your last book?" She asks.

Shaun stands up. "Please let me know what you think about the rest of the chapters. I will rewrite the portion immediately proceeding Travis walking out on me. K?"

"Ok hun. We'll talk soon. I can see we've gone round and round on this enough for today."

Shaun leaves her office and sees Rebecca. "Bye Shaun." She says fluttering her eyes.

"I'm gay." Shaun says as he walks out the door.

Rebecca rolls her eyes after Shaun leaves. "All the good ones are married or gay. And there was that one guy that was married and gay. That pig."

Shaun gets in his car, uncertain on where to go. Part of him just wants to cut his loses with this book, and start a new one. One where he can detach himself from it. Not have one where every fight, every fuck, and every day is out there in print for the entire world to see. And by entire world, it's Zach. Zach is his world. He wants to tell him, part of him thinks he already knows about his past. After all, Shaun did tell Gabe a lot of the details. Maybe he told Zach, maybe he doesn't care? Shaun thought. He decides to just drives, and ends up in front of an Italian restaurant and smiles. He reaches for his phone and dials. The phone rings and the person on the other end picks up. "Hi Travis, it's me." Shaun says.

"Shaun I am surprised you're calling." Travis replies.

Shaun brings his hand up to his forehead and pushes, deeply contemplating what to say. "I uh just met with Leslie." He says.

"Oh. Ok…" Travis said sounding impatient.

"I just wanted to talk Travis. It's been 7 months." Shaun says hastily.

Travis laughs. "Yeah it's been 7 months, S. 7 months."

"I am writing a book about us, fiction umm adjacent." Shaun replies.

"S That's cool I guess. What is it that you want? We resolved things in Baracoa, I thought?" He says coldly.

Shaun shakes his head. He never thought he was still this angry over the way things ended. Emotions are flooding back. "I guess I just wanted to tell you about the book? Hear your voice? Fuck I don't know."

"Oh. Well it's not a good time. Do you umm want to get coffee or something later in the week?" Travis asks.

"Sure." Shaun replies.

"Um ok. I will….um call you in a couple days. We'll talk then about coffee." Travis says.

"K." Shaun says as he disconnects the call.

What the fuck am I doing? Shaun asks himself.

**- Later that day at Shaun and Zach's Condo **

Zach walks in the condo and puts his backpack on the sofa. He sees Shaun in the kitchen cooking. "Hey."

Shaun looks at Zach "Hey."

Zach walks into the kitchen. "Dinner smells good. Where's Cody?"

Shaun stirs a pot. "He's next door at Kristy's. She's gonna babysit him until late tonight. I am gonna make us some margarita's right now – strong ones." Shaun says.

Zach smiles. "Are you trying to seduce me Mr. Andrews? We both know that I don't have to be drunk to be with you."

Shaun laughs. "No. I just wanted to do something special for you. Have a nice night. With everything that has happened this week, I just thought we could use a night in alone."

Zach wraps his arms around Shaun's waist and leans in to kiss him. "Thanks.

Zach sits down on a barstool as Shaun stirs food, and prepares drinks. "So how'd your meetings go today?"

Shaun looks away. "Um good. How was school?"

Zach tilts his head. "School was good. But I want to know about your meeting, and your book and everything."

"I am fucking tired of talking about this book. When I want to tell you, you'll know." He snaps at Zach.

Zach looks shocked. "I – I – um what the fuck Shaun?"

"What the fuck? Is that the best you can come up with Zach?"

"Apparently, Shaun. Why are you freaking out on me?" Zach shakes his head in shock. "Why?"

Shaun flips off the burner, takes a drink from the bottle of tequila on the counter and says. "I'm leaving." And rushes out of the condo leaving Zach to just gaze after him.

Shaun gets out to the car. He wants to run back inside and apologize to Zach. He didn't deserve any of that. Shaun tugs on his hair, and when he sees Zach come outside, he starts the car and speeds away as fast as he can. He reaches for his phone, and dials the only person he can think of. "Hey."

"Three times this week. What up bro?" Gabe asks.

"I have to ask. Did you say anything to Zach about Travis?"

Gabe laughs. "No. Why would I?"

Shaun doesn't know if he is relieved, or more anxious than before. "I fucked up." Shaun says.

"It's about time, you fucked up princess." Gabe says.

"I called Travis."

"Why. I thought you couldn't stand him after umm you know the incident? Gabe replies.

"You mean when he broke my heart?" Shaun asks.

"What the fuck do you want from me bro? Have you tried talking to Zach?"

Shaun laughs. "He wouldn't understand. What would he know about this?"

"I think he'd understand a hell of a lot more than you give him credit for. Don't forget he's been my best friend for 15 years, Shaun. I know him."

"I'm meeting Travis." Shaun blurts out.

"What to fuck him?" Gabe asks.

"No. To talk. I know that's probably a new concept for you Gabe."

"I don't want to get in the middle of this. How can you do this to Zach? He's never been fucking happier than he is with you?"

"I'm not doing anything to Zach. I just need to figure things out. It's just...I don't know." Shaun says.

"Whatever, bro." Gabe says without emotion.

Shaun is growing hostile. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you weren't on my side."

"Based on the fucking facts you've presented me with, I wouldn't be on your side. It doesn't sound like he's done anything to deserve this. If you weren't over your ex you shouldn't have fucked my straight best friend then." Gabe says.

"Is that really what you fucking think? That I corrupted Zach? That he's only gay because I fucked him?" Shaun asks angrily.

"Just go fucking talk to Zach, before you fuck this up. I don't want to talk about this it's just pissing me off." Gabe says.

Shaun shakes his head. "I don't even know why I called you Gabe." Shaun says with a pause. "Just a waste of my time. Like I thought you could help me with this."

Gabe ends the call.

"Un-fucking-believeable." Shaun says to himself after realizing that Gabe hung up. He looks at his watch. It's only 6pm but the January skies are already dark and a warm California rain has begun to fall. Shaun has driven for over 20 miles, and finds himself parked in front of a Santa Monica oceanfront hotel that has a vacancy sign up. He decides to get a room. He briefly considers what Zach is doing. He's ignored 5 phone calls and deleted 3 texts from him without even reading them. Once inside, he grabs some liquor from the mini-bar and reaches for his cell phone and dials a number. "We need to talk right now." Shaun says as soon as the other person picks up.


	4. Chapter 4

**-Chapter 4-**

**-Shaun and Zach's Condo**

Zach hangs up. He got Shaun's voicemail once again. He's alone in the condo, wondering what he said, what he did to make Shaun run out on him like that. He thinks back to Shaun's hesitant demeanor when his book is brought up. Zach doesn't understand though, Shaun has always been so forthcoming and never moody. Zach considers going to pick up Cody from the babysitters but he's hoping Shaun will come home so the two of them can talk and Zach can learn why the fuck he is acting like a complete asshole. Shaun has been gone for over 2 hours. Zach keeps looking at his watch, keeps checking his phone, and keeps thinking about worse case scenarios. _I am going to have to move out, quit school, take a low paying minimum wage job, and Cody's going to hate me. Fuck. What if he doesn't want to come with me, what if he wants to stay with Shaun?_ He asks himself. He grabs his car keys and heads out the door. He has a good 4 hours until he needs to be back to get Cody from Kristy's. _But where the fuck do I begin to look for him?_ Zach's aimlessly driving, buckets of rain fall from the sky. Zach can barely even see the roads as he drives, then be panics. _What if Shaun's been in an accident, and that's why he hasn't called._ _Oh fuck, what if I lose him._ _I can't lose him, I won't._ Zach reaches for his phone. He dials Shaun's number one more time. Straight to voicemail again. Zach takes a deep sigh and pulls the car over, realizing there's nothing for him to do. He turns around and heads home. Well to his _current_ home, he thinks.

**-Shaun's Hotel**

Shaun is on the bed watching TV. He turned his phone off after he made his last call. It was easier that way he thought_. I can't take knowing how many times Zach calls._ He thinks. _This is it, he's never going to trust me again after this. I've lost him and Cody. He's going to go back to San Pedro, and never look back. All my fucking fault. Maybe it's for the best. _Someone loudly knocks on the door. Shaun rushes to answer it. The man standing in front of him is about 6 feet tall, about 30 years old with short dirty blonde hair. He's dressed in a dark blue suit that has been dampened from the rain. Shaun doesn't know what to do. _Should I hug him, kiss him on the cheek, shake his hand?_ He thinks before he gets grabbed into a hug by the man.

"It's good to see you Shaun." Travis says.

Shaun pulls away from their embrace. "It's good to see you. Thanks for coming."

Travis grins a mischievous grin. "I haven't came yet, Shaun." He leans back into Shaun, but Shaun steps back.

Shaun nervously laughs. "That's not what I had in mind. I just wanted to talk." He says.

Travis looks annoyed. "That's what you had me come over for, to fucking talk Shaun?"

Shaun nods. "Of course Travis. I didn't plan on hoping into bed with you. I thought you were over me, over this. Didn't you tell me you wanted to be set free of me?" Shaun says with attitude.

"Fuck you S. You know as well as I do that you wanted me to come over here, and fuck you. It's the only thing we did perfectly." Travis replies while taking his suit jacket off.

Shaun bites his lip. _I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this._ _Fuck it._ He thinks to himself as he leans in to kiss Travis.

Travis looks a bit grossed out. "Shaun. Don't be a fucking fem. You know I hate kissing." He reaches to unzip his pants. "If you wanna suck, have at it." He says.

Shaun steps back and sits on the edge of the bed. Travis walks closer, and is standing just inches from Shaun. Shaun scans the room, looks at his watch and thinks of Zach. Zach was everything that Travis wasn't. He was thoughtful, considerate, affectionate perhaps only in private but it was still better than this. Shaun didn't want to fuck Travis, he didn't even really like him anymore. He was just afraid of being alone, and Travis filled that void to some extent. _Always there for a fuck._ He thought.

"Well?" Travis demanded.

Shaun smiled. "I want to thank you, Travis for making me realize that I don't want or need you. I can do a hell of a lot better than you and I have."

Travis tilts his head. "You sure about that Shaunny boy?"

"Positive." Shaun says while he stands up and walks over to the door and opens it.

Travis zips up his pants and walks out of the room. "Well if you…" He says as Shaun shuts the door in his face.

Shaun laughs. He collects his things from the hotel room, and quickly exits. He thinks of a thousand excuses to tell Zach, but he decides on the truth.

**- Zach and Shaun's Condo. **

Zach arrives back at the Condo. Still no sign of Shaun. He looks at his phone again, and again nothing. He considers trying to reach out one more time. _Fuck it. Fuck him._ Is all he entertains on that. It's now nearly 10pm and Shaun has been gone for over four hours. He decides it's time to go get Cody, but he doesn't know what to tell him. Surely he will have questions he thinks on why Shaun isn't home. It's the first night Zach has had to spend alone. Zach walks over next door. Kristy looks surprised. "Hey Zach." She says smiling. "I um thought I was keeping him till midnight?"

Zach nods. "Change of plans. Thanks though."

Kristy motions for Zach to come in. "He's on the couch sleeping." She says.

Zach highly doubts that. The kid was a master at pretending to be asleep, when he wasn't. He walked over and pleasantly found that Cody was in fact asleep. Zach reaches down and picks him up. He had gotten heavier since the last time, as Zach let out a quiet "Ow."

Kristy opened the door for Zach. "He's so cute." She says running her fingers through Cody's hair as Zach exits her condo. "So I guess let's just call it $40 then." She said.

Zach bit his lip. "$40 um great." He said. _Fuck Fuck Fuck._ He thought. _I don't have any money. How the fuck am I going to pay her." _I um don't have any cash on me. Is it umm alright if Shaun brings it over later or tomorrow." He asks. _Or never._

Kristy nods. "Of course. Have a good night."

Zach opens the door of his condo and carries Cody to his bed. He lays Cody down and takes off his shoes, and covers him up. He watches Cody sleep for a few minutes, before he makes his way out of the room. He looks at the front door, as the nob turns. He feels his heart racing.

"Hi." Shaun says walking in.

"Cody's asleep. I don't want to fight." Zach replies.

Shaun nods. "Thought Kristy was keeping him till 12?" He asks.

Zach tilts his head. "Yeah I thought about a lot of fucking things today, Shaun."

"I'm sorry."

"Why? What the fuck was that about. Where did you go? What the fuck did you do?" Zach asks.

Shaun moves towards the sofa, and sits down. He motions for Zach to come sit next to him. "I want to tell you, but I am beat. Can we just go to bed?" Shaun asks.

Zach shakes his head. "Fine. You need to go and pay Kristy. $40. I didn't have cash on me. Good Night." He says as he heads up to their room. Shaun is still sitting on the coach.

Zach lies in bed. Alone, and in the dark. Twenty minutes later Shaun sneaks quietly into the room. He slips into bed, and says nothing. Zach drifts asleep.

Zach awakens later. He moves his arm almost out of habit behind him to feel for Shaun. He isn't there. Groggy he turns on his bedside lamp and scans the room for Shaun. He stumbles out of bed and throws on a pair of jeans. He doesn't call for Shaun, for fear of waking up Cody. He walks down the stairs of his condo, in total darkness. He nearly trips on a toy of Cody's downstairs. He searches the entire condo, and the last room he enters is Shaun's office. Zach sighs and smiles, as he is relieved. He sees Shaun asleep at his desk. Zach walks into the living room and gets a throw blanket off of the couch and returns to the office to cover Shaun up. He powers off Shaun's laptop and sits down in the chair adjacent to Shaun. He watches Shaun sleep for a few moments until he passes out himself. He is awakened hours later with a kiss, and a simple "Thanks." from the man he loves.


	5. Chapter 5

-CHAPTER 5-

**-Shaun and Zach's condo. Same day. **

Shaun kneels in front of Zach. "I guess you wanna talk about last night?" He asks.

"Yeah Shaun I do."

Shaun nods. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry. Is that it Shaun?" Zach demands.

"I fucked up. I'm sorry. I...I…I don't have an excuse."

Zach stretches his shoulders. And tries to work out a kink in his neck that he got while sleeping in a chair for half the night. "Well I am going to need more than that. Where did you go? That's an easy one." Zach says.

Shaun bites his lip. "That's very easy to answer. I went to a hotel." He can see the hurt in Zach's eyes.

Zach gulps. "A hotel…alone?" He was quick to add.

Shaun nods. Uncertain on how that is going to play out. "At first, yes."

Zach starts to laugh. "At first… What the fuck does that mean Shaun?"

Shaun looks down. "I called my ex-boyfriend…Travis."

Zach stands up. He wants to run away from all this and never look back. "Why? Did you kiss him? Get back together, have sex? Are you throwing me out?" Zach says fighting back the tears.

"I'm so sorry." Shaun says thinking that it won't make a difference. He sees the hurt in his eyes.

Zach shakes his head. "Guess that's my answer."

Shaun pulls Zach as he starts to walk away. "I didn't do anything with him Zach. I love you. I just wanted to talk to him."

Zach pulls away from Shaun. "You fucking expect me to buy this shit? You don't think I knew when Tori was fucking Billy behind my back because I wouldn't? You think I am stupid? You met your ex at a hotel. You were gone for several hours. Why wouldn't you get back with him? He turn you down?"

"No Zach. I swear nothing happened. I didn't want anything to happen. I just wanted to talk to him?'

Tears are falling down Zach's face. "To talk to him? What the fuck about?"

_It was now or never_. Shaun thought. "I met Travis four years ago. He was a loan officer. I went to get a loan when I started writing my last book because I didn't want to ask Larry for the cash. It wasn't my style, but I quit my job and needed some cash to live the kind of life style I was accustomed too. The moment I saw Travis at the bank on the day when I asked for the loan, I felt a spark. It was physical but that was enough. I hadn't been in many relationships before that and Travis was experienced. Our friendship turned into a romance very quickly…after my loan went though, of course as Travis said he wouldn't risk dating a customer….

_Zach is listening as Shaun is going on about his past relationship, his life. He realizes that Shaun had previous romances but he never let the thought of them creep into his mind. He knows deep down that he is not good enough for Shaun and he is just waiting for the day when Shaun realizes he's a piece of ghetto trash and sends him packing. _

Shaun pauses for a moment and picks back up. "So once the loan went through, Travis asked me to dinner. We hit things off. Travis wasn't prefect, but I looked passed his flaws. We did all the stuff you are supposed to. About a year later, we bought a condo together and I finished my book. Things were going good I thought with him. We had our ups and downs but that was life. About 6 months of living together, I found out that Travis cheated on me. I called Gabe. He let me crash on his couch for a week. It was his freshman year at college though, so it was party after party. I had to get out. So Travis and I got back together"….

_Yeah. Just like you are going to get back together this time. Fuck you Shaun. Fuck you for doing this to me, to Cody. _Zach thinks as Shaun just keeps talking.

"He apologized for his 'poor judgment call' but I guess neither of us really forgot it. We were on the same sorta roller coaster ride for the next two years. We had some good times, great sex, and horrible fights. He was an ass, but I let him be. That led us up to last summer. I had planned a romantic vacation to Barcelona with him where I proposed. Part of me wasn't shocked when he said no. He told me he had been cheating on my again, and he wanted to know if he could buy me out of our condo. He said it was over, and that he wanted to be free of me. I got back to our condo, expecting to sob for days but truth was I felt relived. I felt myself for the first time in 3 and a half years and that felt pretty fucking fantastic. I sold him my share of the condo, and put my things in storage and went home to spend a few weeks surfing while I waited for the lease to kick in for my new place…our new place. It was also that wonderful summer that I became reacquainted with the love of my life"…

_Fuck. He's seriously making me want to kiss him. I can't do that. I still don't know if he fucking cheated on me._

"Zach. You mean more to me then Travis ever did. I knew within moments that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. That day on the beach, when you told me about reading my book that changed me in so many ways. You are the reason I wrote this book. You are also the reason why I have been scared shitless to tell you about the book. Zach…" Shaun reaches for Zach's hand. He doesn't brush it away which is progress Shaun thinks. "The book is about Travis. About everything that I just told you. I don't know why I kept it from you, I guess because I didn't want you to leave me and I di.." Zach cuts him off.

"Can I talk now?" Zach asks.

Shaun smiles. "Of course. Say whatever you want, I have it coming."

"I understand that you have had past relationships. That wasn't fucking easy for me to sit through, what you just said but I love you. You could tell me you banged a whole floor of investment bankers, and it wouldn't make me love you any less. But the one thing that I won't tolerate and it's funny because it's because of you that I won't tolerate it, is lying. I've been lied to by Jeannie for years, and I lied to myself for so long. Denying who I was, what I was, and I won't be lied to anymore."

Shaun is so proud of Zach right now, and he knows that Zach could have handled all of this from the beginning. "I admire that about you Zach. And that you are even still talking to me after the complete ass I have been about this whole thing, proves that you are amazing."

"So that's the end of your story? What else did you do with _him_?" Zach can't even say his name.

Shaun pauses. "That's all. I swear. After you and I started this relationship, I never talked to Travis again until yesterday. You are not a rebound, please don't think that. I didn't settle for you. If anything, you settled for me." Shaun says with tears in his eyes.

"I don't want you talking to him again." Zach demands.

Shaun smiles. "I won't. I'm so sorry."

"Can I read the book?" Zach asks.

Shaun nods. "Of course. I want you to know that it's very personal though Zach. If you wanna read it with me or without me, it's your call."

Zach walks over to Shaun's laptop. "All on here?" He asks. Shaun nods. "Ok. Let's head upstairs." Zach says as he carries the laptop up to their bedroom. Shaun and Zach lay down as Zach scrolls the mouse every minute reading the book about his lover and the life he use to share with another man.

Zach is alone in his bedroom, still reading. Shaun went downstairs to make Cody breakfast. He can't believe what he is reading. No one gets to or rather should have to read a transcript of their significant others past relationships. Zach decides to stop reading Shaun's book. He thinks he's up to the part of the proposal and it's making him sick to think about him and Travis and the life they use to share. Zach closes the laptop and gets dressed. He throws on the shirt of Shaun's that he slipped into the day that Gabe almost walked in on them. It comforts him to wear that shirt, and he feels closer to Shaun in it. He arrives at the bottom of the stair case and eavesdrops on Shaun playing with Cody. He's a great Father to him, Zach thinks.

"Hi Daddy!" Cody squeals when he sees Zach.

"Morning Codes." Zach says.

Shaun smiles. "Me and the kiddo were just playing around. You want me to get you some breakfast from the kitchen?"

Zach shakes his head. "I'm good."

"Ok" Shaun responds. He wants to ask what Zach thinks of the book, but he will not be the first to bring it up. He turns his focus back on Cody.

"I'm gonna paint today." Zach says.

Shaun looks surprised. "Awesome. You should." It had been months since Zach painted for the fun of it. He'd painted countless times for school, but his street art had been ignored.

Zach nods. "Do you mind keeping an eye on Cody for a couple hours?"

"Of course not babe." Shaun says like nothing happened.

"See ya later Codes." Zach says as he leaves.

Shaun continued playing with Cody on the living room floor. He hopes he hadn't fucked up too bad.


	6. Chapter 6

**-CHAPTER 6-**

Zach gets in his car and contemplates on where to drive. He's looking for inspiration but doesn't even know where that can be found. He starts driving and finds himself on the freeway. His phone rings and he pulls over once he glances at it and sees Jeannie's name flash on the Caller ID. _Fuck._ "Hey sis." He says.

"Hi. I uh need a favor." She asks.

"Cody's great. Thanks for asking."

"I need money Zach."

Zach laughs. "So do I."

"What? You have cash at your fingertips for your every whim Zach. You're a young piece of ass. Ask Daddy for some money."

"Can't Jeannie."

"Can't or won't? C'mon Zach. You know I wouldn't ask if I didn't really really need it."

Zach sighs. "How much?"

"Uhh. A thousand, fifteen hundred. But don't tell him that, if he wants to give me more, win win for both of us." She says.

Zach laughs. "Shaun doesn't want to give you shit, Jeannie. I will see what I can do."

Jeannie whimpers into the phone. "I don't have all the fucking time in the world. Go hump him and ask him right now. Or steal it from him. I don't give a fuck."

"I'm driving to…" Zach thinks for a second. "San Pedro." _Why the fuck did I say that? _"I will ask him when I get home."

"Don't let me down. I really need this money."

"What the fuck for?" Zach demands.

Jeannie grunts. "I just do. Now put my son on the phone."

Zach hesitates for a moment. "Cant."

Jeannie raises her voice. "Well why the fuck not?"

"He's with Shan at home, Jeannie."

"You son of a bitch. You know I don't want him near Shaun unless you're there." Jeannie screams.

"What you want really stopped mattering the moment you drove away from us. Cody loves Shaun, and he loves Cody. I trust Shaun with our lives. So it's really a non-issue Jeannie." Zach says.

"Fuck you. He's my son. You fucking faggot. My son is going to be corrupted because of you two."

"Ok. I'll be sure to add that to your money request when I talk to Shaun." Zach says with a laugh.

"Asshole."

"Bitch."

Jeannie is silent for a moment realizing that unfortunately for her, Zach is her only financial hope. "I'm sorry Zach. I'm just emotional – you know pregnant. Whatever. Please politely ask if…if I can borrow some money."

"That sounds better." Zach says.

"Please."

"I'll call you tonight Jeannie." Zach responds.

"Bye." Jeannie says holding back on the string of curse words she wants Zach to hear.

"Late." Zach says as he hangs up.

_Fuck._ He doesn't want to ask Shaun for money. This day is not turning out like he envisioned. _Fuck Jeannie. _Zach pulls back on the freeway. He still doesn't know where to go or what to do. He wants to paint but he doesn't think inspiration will be coming to him anytime soon. As he is driving he sees a sign for Santa Barbara 71 Miles. He decides that's just the place for him today.

It's now been 96 minutes since Zach hung up with Jeannie and he is parked in front of Gabe's house in Santa Barbara. Zach has only visited once, and is surprised he was able to find the place by memory. Gabe's house is huge. It's nice, but not entirely kept up like it should be for a house of that value. He chuckles to himself when he sees that the houses to the left and right both have For Sale signs posted in the yards. Gabe lives with 3 other guys, and one very understanding female coed. Zach finds himself just standing on their porch. Zach only sees one car in the driveway; and it is unfamiliar to him. Zach gets the courage to knock on the door, and is greeted by who he presumes is Jesse a roommate that he hasn't met.

"Hi," Zach says with a pause. "I'm Zach. A friend of Gabe's. He here?"

"Hey Zach. I'm Jesse. He isn't here. Do you wanna come in though?" Jesse asks.

Zach smiles and nods. "Do you know when he'll be back. I uh am just popping in he doesn't know I'm coming."

Jesse steps aside to let Zach in the door. "I think he should be back real soon. He just went to get beer for the party tonight."

"Sweet." Zach says following Jesse in. He couldn't help but check out Jesse's ass as he walked in. He doesn't even realize when he's doing it until it creeps into his mind. This was all new to him.

Jesse sits down. "So Zach – Gabe's mentioned you a few times. It's pretty sick that you are here. Gabe's gonna be stoked.

Zach smiles and wonders what exactly Gabe has said about him. "Yeah. Just wanted to get away, you know dude. Gabe is always talking about what good pussy there is in SB." _Why the fuck did I just say that?_

Jesse nods and grins slightly.

_This is awkward. _

A loud horn is heard. "That's probably Gabe now needing help with the beer." Jesse says as both men head out the door. They find Gabe unpacking beer and other party essentials from his trunk.

"Zach, bro. I thought that was your Jimmy parked here. What the fuck are you doin here?" Gabe says as he goes to hug Zach.

"Just wanted to get away Bro." Zach says.

Jesse chuckles. "And to get pussy."

Gabe looks confused, and Zach looks pissed.

"Pussy?" Gabe asks.

Zach whispers. "Guess you told him about me and Shaun."

Gabe nods, handing Zach some beer to carry in.

"Why? I don't want that shit to get out." Zach says.

Gabe pats Zach's back. "Bro, don't worry about it. Jesse's cool. He's gay."

Zach looks surprised. "He's gay?"

"Yeah. Now bro, please tell me the real fucking reason that you are here in SB?"

"I just wanted to get away."

Gabe nods. "You ok… with Shaun?" Gabe asks.

"Uh things are kinda weird. I don't know. Things with his ex came up and it freaked me out." Zach says.

"Oh. I was wondering how that shit would go over with you." Gabe said.

"Oh, yeah?" Zach asked wanting to learn more.

Yeah… but I don't want to get in between this fuckin stuff with you guys."

Zach lies. "Yeah I don't wanna talk about it either. Just wanting to kick back and party"

Gabe smiles. "Every day is a party when you are with the Gabester."

Zach grins. "That's what I need right about now."

Zach and Gabe talk and _drink _for hours. Party goers eventually start to filter in and Zach is pretty trashed. Shaun was probably expecting him home a couple hours ago. There's no way he can drive home, he's too fucked up for that. Gabe has left Zach alone on the couch to entertain and mingle with the other guests. Jesse sits down next to Zach.

"So you get any pussy?" He asks.

Zach laughs. "Never. You get any dick?" He asks trying to sound serious. _Fail_.

Jesse grins. "Not yet."

Zach picks up his beer and tries to take a drink but it's empty. He stands up but falls right back down and laughs. "I am fucking wasted."

Jesse stands up. "You want another?"

"Yup dude. I would love another." Zach responds.

Jesse leaves and is back with two beers before Zach's mind can even register what is happening. "Thanks." He says as he reaches for a beer. Jesse sits back down, brushing up to Zach's thigh. Gabe looks over at the closeness but thinks nothing of it and heads back to make out with a random.

Zach's phone has been buzzing for hours. Shan and Jeannie have both called several times. Zach hasn't even looked at his phone since he arrived earlier in the day.

"I need to find somewhere to crash." Zach says.

Jesse yawns. "I'm pretty tired myself." He says with another yawn. "You want me to help you upstairs?"

"Yeah." Zach nods finding it hard to keep his eyes open. He takes another sip from Jesse's beer. It took him a second to finish it off.

Jesse helps Zach up from the coach, and practically carries him upstairs. Zach falls asleep upon impact on Jesse's bed. Jesse takes off Zach's shirt before removing all of his own clothes. He crawls into bed and snuggles up to Zach's warm body. Jesse slides his fingers on Zach's back and blows in his ear.

Zach wakes up, hours later with an arm wrapped around him. He smiles until he realizes where he is at. He slowly turns his head to see Jesse sleeping inches from him. He gulps. He pulls the covers off and is horrified that Jesse is naked and erect. Zach looks to see what if anything he himself is wearing. He is in his underwear. _What the fuck happened? _He thinks to himself. He can barely remember why he is there, or anything that has happened that night. He stumbles out of bed, and frantically looks for his clothes. He spots his Jeans, but no such luck for his shirt…Shaun's shirt. He sees one of Jesse's shirts and slips it on. He feels disgusting wearing another man's shirt. He looks in his pocket for his phone and keys. He has his keys, but his phone isn't with him. He scans the room, no phone. He tip toes out of Jesse's room and down the hall. He stops at Gabe's room and silently opens the door. No one is in there. He continues his walk of shame and creeps down the stairs and stops when he sees Gabe looking up at him. _Fuck. _Gabe is just shaking his head.

"What the fuck?" Gabe asks.

Zach tenses up. "I don't know what happened."

"I thought you left hours ago, so I didn't bother looking for you earlier and I went to bed. I heard a pair of fucking cats fighting outside so I looked out my window and surprise surprise, I saw your car parked in the driveway. I looked around for you, and couldn't find you. I knew you were pretty fucking trashed so I thought you crashed somewhere." Gabe pauses and gives Zach an evil glare. "I saw you had been spending a lot of time with Jesse so I went to ask him and that's when I found you two in bed together. You fucked my roommate Zach?"

Zach tears up. "Listen, Bro. Nothing happened at all. At least I don't think. I don't know."

"Oh nothing happened? Yeah friends of friends often get naked and hop into bed together. He had his fucking arms wrapped around you. It was disgusting I couldn't even look. His lip was fucking glued to your back….but yeah nothing happened." Gabe says in a tone that Zach has never heard.

Zach shakes his head. "I know it looks bad. But I swear. Nothing happened. I loved Shaun." _Shit. Shit. Shit. The moment he said it, he realized it. Loved not love, but loved._

Luckily for Zach, it seems like Gabe didn't even realize the slip up. Gabe holds up Zach's phone. "13 missed calls from Shaun while you were fucking a dude you met 10 hours ago. Yeah, that's love."

"I've never fucking lied to you man. Seriously nothing has happened. Shaun's the only person that I have EVER been with." Zach says.

Gabe throws Zach his phone. "I'm going back to bed. I want you out of my house." Gabe says as he walks closer to Zach. He leans his face to where it is almost touching Zach's "I told Shaun." And he walks away.

Zach says nothing. He walks out of the house and gets in his car. He starts crying. He looks at his phone, it's 4:47am. He spends the whole ride home trying to piece together what happened over the course of those hours. He thinks he must have had sex with Jesse even though he has no recollection. He arrives to his condo as the sky is getting lighter. It's just after 6am and he enters the condo with a splitting headache. He walks into the front door and it's completely dark and quiet. He gets to his bedroom and opens the door. He sees Shaun sitting on the edge of their bed.

"Listen, please." Zach says but Shaun cuts him off already.

"You fucking listen, Zach. I know you were pissed at me for yesterday but wow. I can't believe you'd do this to me, to us." Shaun says.

"Nothing happened. I swear. I told Gabe that I was drunk and I don't know what happened."

Shaun nods. "You know, you looked pretty damn cozy with him in bed." Shaun says.

"What?" Zach asks.

Shaun looks at his cell phone. "Gabe sent this to me."

Zach walks over to look at Shaun's phone. It's a picture of him and Jesse in bed. Jesse's hand is wrapped around Zach.

Zach gulps. "Shaun. I love you. I swear. Nothing happened. I was drunk. Nothing happened."

Shaun just laughs. "I didn't know you were so evil. You claim to be drunk, but you cheated on me. That's the same exact shit that Travis tried to pull on me. Maybe I am too nice, and I let guys just walk right over me."

Zach just stares at Shaun. "I know it looks bad. But I promise you nothing happened. If anything, I was raped"

"Zach just stop the fucking lies." Shaun yells.

Zach sits down on the bed. He's dizzy. "Call Jesse. Ask him. I don't know? I don't think he was half as drunk as I was. He can tell you what happened."

"Like I'd believe your fuck of the night. I'm done." Shaun says.

"No." Zach shouts.

"I can't do this anymore." Shaun says with tears in his eyes.

"You're everything to me Shaun. Everything."

"Nice shirt." Shaun says.

Zach looks down. _Fuck_. "I love you Shaun. I can't even imagine…"

"It's 6:30 in the morning. Cody is going to be up in like an hour. You look like hell. Go to the guest room and get some sleep. We will finish this later."

"But…" Zach interrupts.

"Go." Shaun demands as he turns off the bedside lamp.

Zach walks to the guest room but he doesn't sleep. He realizes that he's lost everything; Shaun, Gabe, even tori. If Jeannie takes Cody, then he will be completely alone. He just lies in bed for the next few hours looking at the ceiling. He hears Cody and Shaun laughing. He looks at the clock, 8:48am. He walks out of the guest room and into his bedroom. He quickly takes off his shirt – Jesse's shirt, and tosses it in the trash. He puts on one of his, and looks at himself in the mirror. His hairs a mess, his eyes are bloodshot, and he smells of alcohol. He takes a deep sigh and walks downstairs. He greets Cody, and tells him to go and play upstairs. He stands with Shaun in the kitchen.

"Jeannie's gonna take Cody back with her. She should be down in a couple weeks. I will be out as soon as he leaves this house. I know you hate me, but I am telling you the truth about what happened."

"No.' Shaun responds.

"No? Shaun, I don't want to fuck him up any more than I have to. Please, for him at least. You want him to have to sleep in my car with me?" Zach asks.

"He's not going back with her." Shaun says.

"He has too." Zach says.

"I'm not kicking you out Zach. I certainly am not letting Cody leave. We'll just call this a fuck up. We're even." Shaun says.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. I believe that you love me. I don't think I believe anything else that came out of your mouth but I guess love is enough for me right now." Shaun says.

"I don't want it to be enough for you. I want you to be happy. If you don't believe me, I don't think it's enough." Zach says.

"Do you love me?" Shaun asks.

Zach looks like it's a stupid question. "Of course I love you."

"Good. I love you too. We'll move on from this… if you want too?" Shaun says.

Zach puts his hands on Shaun's face, and pulls him in for a kiss. After a minute, Shaun pulls away. "You might want to call Gabe though. He's pissed."

"Gabe can wait. It's you that I need to make sure things are okay with." Zach says.

Shaun smiles. "We'll get through this…together. Just like always."

Zach grins, he loves the together part. "Always and Forever."


	7. Chapter 7

- CHAPTER 7 -

**- Immediately follows Chapter 6. Zach and Shaun's condo. **

Zach does feel a little more reassured about his relationship with Shaun, however, they have a lot to work on but life has a way of going forward regardless if you are ready for it or not.

"I'm gonna take the kiddo to the park today." Shaun says.

"That sounds fun." Zach nods.

"Do you want to come with?" Shaun asks figuring, Zach will say no.

Zach thinks for a second. Yeah." He says with a smile.

Shaun nods. "Um. Great."

Picking up on an uneasy feeling, Zach asks. "You don't mind right? I mean if you want to go by yourself with him that's fine."

Shaun puts his arms around Zach's waist and pulls him in. "Of course I want you to come with."

Zach leans in to kiss him, but Shaun turns his face away. "K." Zach says.

Shaun and Zach head out the door with Cody who is jumping up and down excitedly. The moment they get out of the car, he darts to the group of kids playing near the swings and jungle gym. Zach and Shaun find a bench nearby and sit down.

They sit in silence for a minute, just watching the kids play. It's a pretty and sunny day in Los Angeles. In the 60's but very nice for an early February afternoon. Zach is the first to break the silence.

"So... Jeannie called me yesterday." Zach says.

"Yeah?" Shaun responds.

Zach nods. "She wants money."

"I see. What'd you tell her?"

Zach shrugs. "Nothing really. Told her I didn't have any money."

"Let me guess how she took that." Shaun says with a laugh.

Zach grins. "Yeah. I dunno what to do with her. She wanted like fifteen hundred bucks."

"Well…what do you think she'd do for that money?" Shaun asks.

Zach looks at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what's in it for us? If we give her the money, I expect something in return."

Zach tilts his head. "You're not saying you want us to fucking buy Cody from my sister are you? Me and Cody are all she has." Zach says with a hint of anger.

"Of course not Zach. I'm just saying that we can't be a supply of cash for her forever. And she can't hold Cody over your head. So… if we give her money, I am going to want something in return." Shaun says.

"She will never say okay to that, Shaun."

"If the price is right." Shaun says.

Zach shakes his head. "I can't even approach that with her. She'll fucking flip out so fast on me."

"It's horrible babe, but I think she'd do it." Shaun says.

_Babe. _Zach smiles. It felt so good to hear Shaun say that. He reaches for Shaun's hand. An elderly couple walks by and sees them holding hands. Zach beams and says "That's my boyfriend." The couple smiles politely and continues walking.

Shaun grins. "What's gotten into you?"

"I'm just happy." Zach beams.

"I take that as you want to try this method with Jeanne?" Shaun asks.

"Let's do it." Zach says.

"We'll send the papers to Jeanne, and let her know that in order to finance this…whatever the fuck she wants, that she will have to sign over her legal rights to Cody and name you his legal guardian." Shaun says.

Zach smiles. "I honestly don't think it's gonna happen but let's try."

"If we offer the right price," Shaun says again with a pause. "Then she will."

**-Portland, Oregon – Jeannie and Allan's apartment. **

"Fuck you." Allan says with a suitcase in his hand walking out the front door.

Jeannie is smoking a cigarette in the living room. 8 months pregnant. Her neighbor comes in as soon as Allan speeds away.

"Are you okay Jeanne?" The woman asks.

Jeannie nods. "I'm great. Just kicked his sorry ass to the curb."

The woman smiles. "He is a bad man, isn't he? I hear you two fight and just look at you, you can't be fighting like that."

"Well I'm done with that fucker, just gotta get home and everything will be back to normal." Jeannie says.

"About that, Jeanne. I can't take you to California. Frank just got laid off. No trip to Disney Land for us and the kids."

"What? You've got to be fucking kidding me. I need to get home. There's no other fucking way I can get down there." She says.

"What about your brother. Didn't you say you were getting money from him?"

Jeannie rolls her eyes. "He isn't returning my calls. I don't know. Isn't it sweet of him?" She asks.

The woman frowns. "What an asshole, if you can't depend on family you've got nothin."

Jeannie nods. "I'm fucking screwed."

The woman nods sympathetically. "Why don't you just have your baby here?"

Jeannie sighs. "There's no reason for me to stay here, with Allan out of the picture. I need to go home and get my son."

"I see. Well I'm sorry Jeanne. I hope you can make it work." The woman says as she leaves Jeannie's apartment.

"Fuck you too." Jeannie says as soon as the woman closes the door. Jeannie bangs her head against the counter, and decides to make a call.

**- Back at the park. Shaun, Zach, and Cody.**

Shaun and Zach are watching Cody play. Most of their conversation has been centering around Cody, but at least they are not fighting. Zach's phone rings.

Zach looks confused. "I don't know who this is." Zach says to Shaun. "Hello?"

"Hi." The voice on the other end says.

"Who is this?" Zach asks still not realizing who it is.

"Well that makes me feel like a random shank. It's Jesse."

_Fuck. _Zach looks at Shaun and gulps. "I don't know what happened last night, but I was drunk. Don't fucking call me again."

Shaun looks pissed. "Is that Gabe's roommate?" Shaun yells.

Zach nods.

"Well that's a little harsh." Jesse says.

"Seriously dude. Fuck off." Zach says as he hangs up the phone.

"Fucking little bitch." Jesse says after realizing he had been hung up on.

"Shaun don't be mad. I don't know why he was calling."

Shaun nods. "It's okay babe." Shaun says.

Zach sighs in relief. "I'm going to have to fucking talk to Gabe about last night. I've never seen him so pissed.

Shaun shakes his head. "It was nice to see he cared about me." Shaun laughs.

"Of course he cares about you, Shaun. Growing up he always talked about how great you were." Zach says.

Shaun smiles. "Do you want me to try and talk to him?" Shaun asks.

Zach bites his lip. "I think it needs to be in person. Can you invite him over or something?

"I'd be happy too. He's my brother and your best friend… bro in law so to speak. It'll be ok."

"Thanks." Zach says with a smile.

Shaun kissed Zach's cheek. Zach leaned over to kiss him back. He put his hands on Shaun's face, and passionately kissed him on the lips. Shaun's tongue explored Zach's mouth. In an instant everything had been forgotten, every wrong was made right.

"I love you." Shaun says.

Zach smiles. "I love you too."

That kiss made both realize that even though they've had a shitty couple of days, they are meant to be together. Both feel that a weight has been lifted off their shoulders. Shaun knows that Zach loves him, and even though he isn't sure that he didn't cheat he knows that the lows don't even compare with the high he feels when he's near Zach. At the same time, Zach knows that Travis is in Shaun's past. He knows that he's never been happier than when he is with Shaun and that together they can do anything.

Zach and Shaun stand up and look at Cody as he is running up to them. Shaun turns to Zach and asks. "You ready?" Zach smiles and nods realizing that it was a fresh start.


	8. Chapter 8

**- CHAPTER 8 -**

**-Same Day. **

Zach and Shaun left the park walking hand in hand with Cody skipping in front of them. This was the first time in their 6 month relationship, that Zach truly felt confident and relaxed to show his love for Shaun publically. He felt good, even though his headache was a pounding reminder of the night before. Shaun couldn't help but smile. He felt reassured, and knew that he made the right choice by not sleeping with his ex. Neither of them was perfect, but neither could imagine their life without the other one in it. It was in that moment that Shaun wanted to make Zach happy, give him a sense that he would always be there for him, and that he would never have to worry about a future without him in it… He wanted to propose.

Zach and Shaun arrive back at their condo with Cody asleep in the backseat. Shaun carries him in and lays him down on the couch. Zach came in biting his lip.

"What's wrong babe?" Shaun asks.

"I need to call Jeannie." Zach nervously says.

Shaun nods. "Then let's do it."

Zach shakes his head. "It's not that easy, Shaun."

Shaun looked at Zach and shrugged. "It's now or never babe. Band-aide. Rip it off."

Zach hid his face in his palms and sighed for a minute. "I know. It's just…just I dunno. I don't fucking know."

Shaun puts his arm around Zach and pulled for him to lean in. Zach rested his head on Shaun's shoulder. "I know." Shaun said trying to reassure him before he kissed the top of Zach's head.

Zach reaches for the phone and dials his sister. It rings and the moment that Jeanne picks up, Zach gulps.

"About fucking time you call me back Zach. Some brother. I fucking told you I needed this money and you make me wait?"

"Jeannie, sorry. I was just trying to see what I could do."

"And?" She yells.

"And Shaun… I mean we want more stability for Cody."

Jeanne cuts him off. "What that fuck does that mean Zach?"

Zach looks at Shaun. "We don't want Cody to be uprooted. He's in school and loves it. We have a good home for him here… with us."

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._ Zach was already bracing himself for her response.

Jeanne laughs. "A good home? You call living with a couple of fags, a good home?"

"Jeannie..." Zach pauses and whispers to Shaun. "I can't."

Shaun shakes his head. "You have too. We can do this… together."

Zach smiles. "We want you to sign over guardianship of Cody."

"Like I would fucking do that Zach."

Shaun grabs the phone. "How does $2,500 sound Jeanne?"

Jeanne becomes livid. "You're fucking serious? You want me to give up my son to you for a quick buck? You're sick."

"It's not about the money Jeanne. It's about Cody. He belongs with me and Zach. We're happy to accommodate you. Send you a plane ticket to visit once a year." Shaun says.

_He is so much better at this. _Zach thinks.

"Fuck you Shaun. Fuck you." Jeanne hangs up.

Shaun throws the phone on the counter. "Selfish bitch."

"I told you." Zach says as he gives Shaun a quick a kiss. "Thanks."

"She'll call back." Shaun says.

Zach nods.

It took no one by surprise when an hour later Jeanne called. Zach answered. "Hello."

"Put Shaun on the phone." She said.

Zach hands Shaun the phone. "Jeanne. It's a pleasure." Shaun said.

"Go fuck yourself." She said with a pause. "I need more than $2,500 to make this work. I am supposed to give up my son. I could really use $20,000.

Shaun nods. "Hmmm. $20,000 is a lot of money."

Zach tenses up and grabs the phone from Shaun. "Jeannie, we don't have that kind of money." Shaun grabs the phone back before Zach was even able to hear what Jeanne's response was.

"Jeanne, $20,000 is a lot of money. But… I guess you can pay your expenses with that." Shaun says.

"Expenses?"

Shaun nods. "For the baby. We can't split up Cody with his sibling now can we?"

"Send me some cash. And we'll talk later." Jeanne says while hanging up.

Shaun sighs. "So…" He looks at Zach.

Zach just stares at him, uncertain what to say. "That's a lot to take in."

Shaun nods. "It's what you want though, right babe?"

"Yes" Zach says without hesitation.

"Good." Shaun smiles.

Zach reaches for Shaun's hand. "Is it what you want though?"

"Absolutely."

"But, the money?" Zach asks.

"Don't worry about that. My book is almost done. I'll get an advance. We need to get her to sign over guardianship, so she can't throw that in our faces."

"I love you." Zach says.

Shaun grins. "I love you too."

Zach looks around. "Cody still sleeping, you think?"

"God, I hope so." Shaun says with a laugh.

"Let's go." Zach says with a grin.

Zach and Shaun race up stairs to their bedroom, quietly. Zach pulls off Shaun's shirt and begins kissing his lips. His lips move slowly down Shaun's lips, chin, and chest. Zach undoes Shaun's jeans and pushes him toward the bed while removing his own clothes. They laugh, and whisper things to each other. Both are passionate. Shaun's lips explore Zach's body like it is something that is entirely new to him. Zach bites his lip, careful not to moan. Shaun flips Zach over on his stomach. Zach smiles. Shaun puts his hands on top of Zach's whose palms are being held up by the mattress. Shaun kisses Zach's neck and back. He traces his finger down Zach's spine. Then a knock is made at their door.

_Fuck. _Zach and Shaun quickly get up off their bed. "Yeah Buddy?" Zach yells while trying to put his clothes on.

"I had a bad dream." A little voice says.

"It'll be okay Codes." Zach says. He kisses Shaun before he opens the door. The kiss lasted longer than they both were expecting, but the tearful sobs coming from the other side of the door snapped them both into reality. Shaun opens the door and Cody hugged his legs.

Zach kneeled down. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Cody shook his head, while his face stayed buried in Shaun's legs.

Shaun reaches down to rub the top of Cody's head. "C'mon ankle biter. I'm starving. You wanna get something to eat from the kitchen?"

"Ok." Cody says letting go of his grip on Shaun.

"What do you wanna eat kiddo?" Zach asked. Both fully expecting his response.

The boy looked up. "Nothing." They looked surprised.

"You gotta eat Cody." Zach says. While they were walking down the stairs.

Shaun opens the fridge. "Whatever you want." He asks.

Cody points to the yogurt. "That."

Shaun begins to try to pry what's wrong out of Cody. "What was your dream about? It's okay to be scared."

Cody says, "I don't want to leave."

"You're not going anywhere." Zach responds.

"Even if I am bad?" He asks.

"Cody. You're going to be here with us forever." Zach says.

"But Jeanne left because I was bad and you think I am bad."

"That's not true Cody. Why do you think that? We love you so much." Zach says.

"Mom said that on the phone. That you didn't want me, because I am bad."

"What?" Shaun asks.

"When did you talk to your Mommy on the phone?" Zach asks.

"I talked to her at school. They came and got me out of class and took me to the office. I talked to her on the phone."

Shaun looks at Zach and shakes his head. "What else did she say, Cody?" Shaun asks.

Cody hesitated for a moment. "She said she was coming back for me, and it was because you didn't want me. She said not to tell you though."

Zach kneels down and hugs Cody. "You're staying here forever. If you want too?"

Cody smiles. "I don't want to go back with Jeanne. I like it here." He says.

"Then you are staying here with us." Shaun says.

Cody nods. "Ok."

"You did the right thing by telling us Cody. If she ever calls you again, let us know. Ok?" Zach says.

"Ok." Cody says.

Shaun goes to the cupboard and takes out a box. "Here ankle biter." He throws him a small box full of hot wheels.

Cody's face lights up. "Wow." He says.

"Go and play with those in the living room, while Dad and I finish cooking dinner." Shaun says.

Cody smiles and runs in the other room.

"I was going to give him those next week." Shaun said.

Zach looked confused.

"For valentine's day." Shaun said.

_Shit. _Zach forgot it was Valentine 's Day next week, but that was not the problem at hand. "What the fuck are we supposed to do with Jeannie? How could she say those things to him? To a 6 year old?"

"Well once she signs over guardianship, we'll tell the school not to let her call. Cody knows we love him. He feels safe. Just listen to him playing, the whole thing is already forgotten." Shaun says trying to be comforting.


	9. Chapter 9

**- CHAPTER 9 -**

**-Zach and Shaun's Condo. Same scene.**

Zach nods while Shaun takes a look at the mail that came in earlier. Zach hardly gets anything in the mail, so he was surprised when Shaun tossed him a letter from American Express. Zach laughed and threw it on the counter.

"Like they'd give me credit."

Shaun grabs the letter and opens it. "This is your card." Shaun says tossing it back to him.

"My what?" Zach asked confused.

"I set you up with an account. It's linked with mine." Shaun says.

Zach shakes his head. "I can't afford to pay a bill every month. Thanks, but…"

"But nothing babe. I want you to be able to buy stuff when I am not with you. What's mine is yours."

Zach grins. "No. Thanks. But no."

"Zach." Shaun says with a pause. "Just take it."

"Fine," Zach says grabbing the card and putting it in his wallet. He smiles at Shaun. "But I'm not gonna use it."

Shaun rolled his eyes. _Why is it like pulling teeth for him to accept that I love him and want him to be financially secured?_ Shaun thinks to himself.

"So…" Zach says with a long pause. "What did you want to do for Valentine's day?" Zach said nervously.

The thought of Valentine's Day with Shaun freaked him out. He knew he had several past relationships of Shaun's to compete with. Sure, he had spent multiple ones with Tori. They had even broken up during one memorable Valentine 's Day five years ago….

**(Flash Back) Zach and Jeanne's house in San Pedro**

Jeanne yelled "Zach?"

Zach was rushing around the house. "What?"

"Can you watch the baby tonight?" Jeanne said.

"What? No! I'm going out with Tori."

Jeanne sighed. "It's important Zachy. I got asked out and well since what's his name left me to raise our baby alone I haven't went out and I really really need to Zach."

"It's Valentine's Day. I'm spending it with Tori. Find another day to fuck." Zach yelled.

"Shut the fuck up Zach. If you won't, I'll just leave him with Poppy." Jeanne said.

"Fine." Zach said.

"Fine as in you'll do it?" Jeanne asked.

"Yes Jeannie. I will do it." Zach said.

"Great. Thanks."

"I gotta get to school. I'm gonna be late."

"You're a senior Zach. School doesn't even matter anymore." Jeanne says.

Zach rolled his eyes and headed out the door.

Zach arrived to school a few minutes late. He hurried to his class, English. He saw Gabe had saved him a seat. "Hey." Zach said quietly

"Hey bro." Gabe said as he was flirting with Mandy.

Zach pulled out his binder and book from his backpack. He looked around at all the preppy kids in the latest fashions and looked down at his clothes. He always felt like he didn't belong at that school. Even at San Pedro High, he felt like he wouldn't belong. There was just something that was off, that he couldn't pin point that made him feel like an outcast even among friends.

Gabe looked at Zach and grinned. "So tonight's the night right bro? You and Tori. Bow chicka wow wow."

"I don't think so bro. I have to watch Cody." Zach said.

Gabe shook his head. "Baby protol. Seriously dude? Fuck that. He ain't your kid."

Zach nodded. "I have too. There's no one else."

"That's messed up," Gabe said with a pause. "Can't you just take him with you?"

"No." Zach said.

"You need to get some Zach. We're almost 18. You've been with her for years. Tonight has got to be the night." Gabe says.

"I know. I'll ask Tori." Zach says.

..

Later that night, he arrived back at the house. Jeanne and her new guy were in the living room making out. It reeked of pot. Cody could be heard crying. "Are you going to fucking check on your son, Jeannie?"

"He's fine." She said and continued kissing the guy.

Zach threw his backpack on the couch hitting both of them. He turned and grinned as he walked into Jeannie's room. Cody was in his crib crying. His diaper needed to be changed. Zach changed his diaper and washed his face. Zach tickled and tried to comfort Cody. He was a sweet baby. Zach went into his room and changed his clothes. He was very nervous about tonight. He packed Cody's diaper bag, picked him up and started to leave. He left the house, glancing at Jeannie as he walked out – she was in the same position as when he got there. He sighed. He hadn't checked with Tori to see if she would be cool with him bringing the baby but he hoped she wouldn't mind. He arrived at Tori's house. It was just after 6pm, but already dark.

Tori answered the door to find her boyfriend pushing a baby stroller. "Hey Monkey." Zach said trying to smile.

Tori looked annoyed. "Why?" She asked.

"Why do you think?" Zach said pushing himself through the door.

"Whatever." Tori said.

Zach left Cody in Tori's dining room asleep in his stroller. He looked around the house. It was dark, but candles filled the room and it did seem very romantic. "You look nice." Zach said barely looking at her.

_Nice? Try Hot._ Tori thought to herself. "Thanks."

"Are the parentals home?" Zach asked. It almost seemed like a stupid question, he quickly thought. Obviously they weren't.

"Nope. We have the house to ourselves…I guess." She said glancing at the sleeping baby.

Zach sat down on the coach. Tori joined him. She kissed him, he resisted at first but slowly got into it after thinking about what Gabe said. _It's now or never._ He thought to himself.

"You wanna go to my room?" She asked biting her lip.

Zach nodded. "Sure." He said with a bit of hesitation.

Meet me in there in 2 minutes, she said while pulling the neckline of his shirt down with her finger. Zach had to force himself to breathe in and out. His mind was racing. He looked at Cody, who was still asleep. He walked to Tori's room and waited a minute before he entered. He saw Tori on the bed. She was wearing red laced panties, and no top. It was the first time he saw her breasts. He forced a smile. He was incredibility nervous.

"Come on." She said motioning for him to join her on the bed.

Zach nodded. He walked over to her standing inches away from her. She lifted off his shirt and kissed his stomach. He bit his lip. She unbuttoned his pants. He took more time than necessary removing his shoes and socks. He hopped into bed and kissed Tori's lips. She forced his head down to her breasts. It all became very technical for him. _Where the fuck do I put my hands?_ He kissed her neck, nibbled on her ear. He tried to get in the mood, but couldn't. He was incredibly worried that she would question the lack of hardness on his part. He was relieved when cries filtered into the room. "I need to go check on Cody." Zach said while putting some space between him and Tori.

"He's fine." Tori said.

"I need to check." Zach said.

"Zach." She said completely exposed.

"I'm sorry Tori. I… I can't." Zach said.

"If you leave this room, we're over." Tori said.

Zach was putting his clothes on. "Sorry." He repeated.

Tori shook her head. "I never want to see you again."

"Monkey." He said.

"Get out."

Zach got up and walked out of Tori's room without looking at her. He got to Cody and they left.

_Why couldn't I have sex with her? Why the fuck am I like this. No one else is. _He said to himself on the ride home.

A couple of hours later, Gabe called and asked him how it went. He lied. He told Gabe that he and Tori had sex. He knew this lie wouldn't be able to last that Gabe would eventually find out what happened and that him and Tori broke up. But he had now, he was free. He began doing street art, and started to surf more than before. Him and Tori stayed broken up for the rest of their senior year. They got back together at the end of that summer, when everyone went off to college or left San Pedro.

(**end flashback**)

**Zach and Shaun's condo. Present.**

Shaun grinned. "Whatever you wanna do for Valentine's Day is good for me, babe."

"Ok." Zach said.

"I'm gonna try to write. Need to get this book wrapped up." Shaun said.

Zach nodded. He got up and kissed Shaun. I'm gonna go and talk to Cody some more about Jeannie."

"You want me with you?" Shaun asked.

Zach shook his head. "Naw. I'm good."


	10. Chapter 10

**-CHAPTER 10-**

Unbeknownst to Zach, Shaun had already began making plans for Valentine's day. He lined up Kristy for the weekend to watch Cody. It worried Shaun that Zach wouldn't want to leave Cody with Kristy all weekend but the times she's watched Cody in the past have proved to them that she is a good caretaker for their son. Shaun wants to make this Valentine's the best ever. He's never really had a good Valentine's Day. He spent the last 3 with Travis, but Travis wasn't a romantic at all. To him a good night was getting drunk and fucking for hours, which they did and to an extent it was a good night but it wasn't romantic, it didn't make them fall in love, and certainly didn't keep them together. The boyfriend he had before Travis was in the closet, so no signs of affection there. But with Zach it would be different. They were in love, they were happy, and Shaun was free to be the hopeless romantic that he's always been forced not to be. Shaun is looking at pictures of hotels online in his office. He decides he needs to quit slacking off, and get to writing. He closes the website and opens up the latest chapter of his book and starts writing. He labels the chapter

_The Aftermath of the Proposal _

And he sighs.

**-The next day**

Zach nervously walks around the house. Gabe would be there in 10 minutes for dinner. Shaun had invited him but Zach wasn't sure if he could handle seeing Gabe. They hadn't spoken since Gabe's party when Zach possibly unknowingly fucked his roommate. _Awkward_. Shaun look Cody over to Kristy's so that she could watch him that evening so Zach wouldn't even be able to use Cody as a distractor. Shaun was busy in the kitchen preparing the food. The doorbell rang.

Zach walks over to answer it even though his skin was crawling and his mind was racing telling him to just find any escape path necessary to avoid the situation. Gabe stands at the door.

"You gonna let me in?" Gabe asks.

Zach steps aside. "Yeah. Come in."

Gabe rolled his eyes and walked in. "Where's Shaun?"

Zach points. "In the Kitchen."

Gabe went into the kitchen. He had a plastic bag with him, Zach was unsure what he had brought.

"Hey bro." Gabe said to Shaun upon entering the kitchen.

"Gabe. Hey." Shaun said smiling.

"Brought you something." Gabe said while throwing the bag to Shaun. Zach was now standing at the door frame.

Shaun opens the bag, and finds his shirt. Shaun looks confused. Zach looks horrified.

"Zach left it that night he fucked my roommate. It is your shirt after all." Gabe said.

"Gabe. Knock this shit off." Shaun said dropping the shirt.

"Fuck off Shaun. You've known me for 22 years. What did you expect? I'm your brother, he cheated on you."

Zach remained silent. "And Zach has been your best friend for 15 of those years. That has to count for something. I'm 31, you don't need to fight my battles little bro. I love him."

Gabe turned to Zach. "You know it's funny. Zach, I assume you don't know but I bought this one of a kind shirt for Shaun for Christmas. When I saw you wearing it at the diner last summer I put two and two together and realized that you were fucking my brother. Did I care? Judge? Belittle the romance? Absolutely not. Sure, it was fucking crazy to realize that my best friend who I thought was straight was fucking my brother but I accepted that. What I can't expect is you fucking in my house behind his back."

"I know. I'm sorry. I was drunk. I don't remember anything." Zach pleaded.

"That's the sorriest excuse I think I have ever heard from you Zach. That includes the billion reasons you gave me for not fucking Tori." Gabe said.

"Shut the fuck up Gabe." Shaun yelled.

Gabe just shook his head.

"What do you want from me Gabe? I love Shaun."

"I don't know man. I just remember what it was like for him, the last time this happened and for you to be the cause of it again, I just – just can't get over that." Gabe said.

"Get over it. I'm happy with him. I don't care what happened that night." Shaun said.

Gabe nods. "Ok."

"Seriously?" Zach asks Gabe.

"Yes. Fine. Bros. Whatever." Gabe said.

_Reassuring._ Zach thinks.

"Let's eat." Gabe said.

"And drink." Shaun said holding up some alcohol.

They sat down to eat, and drink. Shaun tried to bring up stories that would make them reminisce. One story that Shaun brings up caught Zach by surprise, he didn't realize Shaun would remember it. It happened a long time ago… 5 years ago.

**-The Andrew's Beach House (FLASHBACK)**

Gabe knocks on Shaun's bedroom door. "Did Mom and Dad leave yet?"

Shaun's fiddling on his laptop. "I don't know. Go downstairs and check."

"That fucking helps." Gabe said and rolled his eyes.

"Why the fuck do you care if they're here?" Shaun asks.

"Zach is coming over, we're gonna party it up." Gabe said.

Shaun nods. "Zach is coming over?"

"Uh yeah?" Gabe questioned.

Shaun shook his head and tried to change the subject. "Do you need me to buy beer?"

"Princess big brother, thanks for that but little bro got himself a fake ID since you been in LA." Gabe laughed.

"Proud moment for a big brother." Shaun said.

The doorbell rang. "That must be Zach. He better not have the baby with him because I will flip out on his ass." Gabe says walking away from Shaun's room.

Shaun looks down at his clothes. _Fuck_. He looked a mess. He just got back for Gabe's graduation and wasn't mentally prepared to be at any high school party. He was over that shit anyways. 25 years old and being home in that repressive town just didn't sit well with Shaun. He liked Zach though; he was a good friend, a good person to Gabe.

Gabe answered the door. "What up bro?"

"Nothin much." Zach said.

"Well the parents are gone for the night – so we gonna throw one kick ass party." Gabe said with a grin.

"Sweet." Zach replied.

"Since you and Tori broke up, I invited a lot of fine ladies to the party for you." Gabe said with a wink.

Zach smiled. "You know I'd love to get with one but me and Tori… I mean I am sure we'll work things out."

"Bro. You need to move on. It's not like it'd even be cheating. You are broken up."

"Yes I just…" Zach says but is cut off.

"But nothing bro if Tori won't put out find someone who will." Gabe said.

Zach nods. "Yeah. Let's just focus on this party and graduation tomorrow."

"Yeah buddy." Gabe said.

Shaun walks down the stairs. He quickly scans the room to see who all was down there. Just Gabe and Zach sitting on the couch. "Hey" He said walking down.

Zach turns. "Shaun. Hey how's it going?"

Shaun smiles. "Great. Big day tomorrow, you guys excited?"

"Excited to be done." Gabe said.

Zach nods.

"So what are your plans this Fall?" He asks Zach.

Zach bits his lip. "I am not sure man. I applied to Cal Arts but needed a scholarship and that fell through. And with Cody, Jeannie's son he's almost a year old and Jeannie needs help with him. My Dad, my Mom's passing last year it's just hard to make plans."

Shaun nodded. "That's some tough stuff to deal with. I am sorry bout the scholarship man."

"What a fag response." Gabe said laughing.

Zach smiled when realizing that Gabe was looking at him. "Yeah. Umm what have you been up to?"

Shaun shrugs. "Finished my master's degree a couple of years ago – in business. That really hasn't panned out. I'm uh trying to write a book."

"That's cool I guess." Zach said.

"Big bro, stop badgering my friend." Gabe said.

Shaun laughs. "Badgering? Someone got a bigger vocabulary since I've been gone."

"Fuck off bro." Gabe said half seriously.

"Ok." Shaun said walking away. "It was great seeing you man." Shaun said to Zach.

"Good luck on the book." Zach said to Shaun.

Shaun didn't reply.

"Let's go get some booze." Gabe said excitedly.

Zach laughs. "Got Daddy's credit card, do ya?"

Gabe nods. "It's the only way to fly."

"Yup."

Gabe got up. As he was walking towards the door, Zach turned back and glanced at Shaun who was standing in the doorframe of the kitchen looking back at Zach. Zach smiled and walked out the door.

When Gabe and Zach got back to the house with the alcohol for the party, Shaun had left. Zach didn't see Shaun again for almost 5 years until that summer he came back home once again. Zach never forgot the way he felt that day with Shaun though, even for the few minutes they spent together. There was something about the way he felt when Shaun was near that Zach couldn't explain. Zach never said anything to Gabe about Shaun, but he secretly enjoyed it when Gabe would talk about him. He got Shaun's book the day it came out a year later. He read it 7 times over the course of the next three years.

**(END FLASHBACK)**

Zach and Gabe are laughing while drinking.

"And that one dude what was his name? From English class? He got so high. You did mouth to mouth on him when he fell in the pool" Zach said laughing.

"Oh yeah. I remember that. Aaron? Wasn't it. That was classic. I still haven't had a night as fucked up as that one." Gabe said.

"I'm surprised no one died. That shit was crazy." Zach said still laughing.

Shaun smiled, he had nothing to add to the conversation, he wasn't there but at least they were talking.


	11. Chapter 11

**-CHAPTER 11-**

**-Same Scene; Shaun and Zach's Condo**

Shaun and Zach stood at the door as Gabe was getting ready to leave for the night. Dinner went well, as well as could be expected. It was still awkward for all three. Shaun hopped the drift between Gabe and Zach had been repaired that night.

"I'm sorry." Gabe whispers to Zach.

Zach nods. "Me too"

"Tell the little playboy, I said hello." Gabe said while leaving.

Zach and Shaun nodded while closing the door.

Zach sighed. "We should probably go and pick Cody up. It's getting late."

Shaun pulls Zach in for a hug and whispers in his ear. "You know he can stay over there a little longer. Kristy said she can keep him late." He stops and begins kissing Zach. Zach slides his hand up and down Shaun's stomach.

Shaun pulls away and gets to the bottom of the staircase but Zach pushes him down and passionately kisses him, caressing his body. Shaun finds a moment to tell Zach that he loves him and that only makes Zach even more eager to please him. Zach drew Shaun close, and then lightly brushed his lips and pulled away. Shaun was getting more and more turned on. Shaun felt Zach's hands on his body. Shaun gently stroked Zach's thigh as they kissed. Zach went into overdrive trying to please Shaun, so much so that Zach began to get out of breath during their lovemaking.

"Slow down. I'm not goin anywhere." Shaun says with a laugh.

Zach nods. "You wanna finish this up stairs?"

Shaun smiles and gets up. He collects the clothes at the bottom of the staircase and they both walk upstairs towards their bedroom.

They finished what they started downstairs, and at the end of it both were so thoroughly tired that they fell asleep within moments of finishing. Shaun is awakened by the doorbell but Zach continues sleeping.

Shaun yawns as he wakes up startled. "Babe." He says tapping Zach's back. "Babe. Zach. Zach." He says tapping with more force.

Zach turns over. "What?"

"The door." Shaun says while getting his clothes together off the ground, throwing Zach a shirt and a pair of jeans.

"Shit. That's probably Kristy. What time is it?"

Shaun looks at the alarm clock. "1:33am."

"Fuck." Zach hops out of bed, throwing on his clothes. "We were supposed to pick him up at least 2 hours ago."

Shaun and Zach raced down stairs and open the door to find Kristy looking annoyed, and Cody looking unhappy.

Shaun was the first one to break the tension at the door. "I'm sorry Kristy. We uh fell asleep." Shaun hands Kristy money, and Cody runs inside.

Kristy nods. "It's okay. He was sleeping for most of the night, but once he woke up for some reason he got pretty upset."

"He doesn't like waking up in different places… I'm sorry. We shouldn't have…" Zach says but gets cut off.

"It's ok." Shaun says looking at Zach before turning to Kristy. "Thanks Kristy. It won't happen again."

Kristy smiles and walks away. Shaun closes the door and both of them walk into the living room to find Cody sitting on the couch.

"Why did you forget me?" Cody yells. Such a simple question, but no reason would be able to calm him.

"Codes, we're sorry. We fell asleep." Zach says while sitting down next to the boy.

Cody shakes his head. "I wish Mommy was here. I hate you." He says while running up the stairs towards his bedroom.

Zach looks at Shaun. "I…" They then hear the slam of Cody's bedroom door.

Shaun shakes his head. "I'll go talk to him. He doesn't mean any of it babe."

Zach nods his head as Shaun walks up the stairs to Cody's room. The door is shut. Shaun knocks on the door, but Cody doesn't respond.

"Cody." Shaun says but no response. "I'm coming in." Shaun says opening the door.

Cody is crying, sitting at the foot of his bed.

"It's okay to be sad, and even to let people know you're sad." Shaun says trying to comfort him. "But, you know you can't say those things to Zach. He loves you."

Cody nods, while Shaun wipes away some of his tears.

"You're going to have to tell him you're sorry. Alright Cody?" Shaun says.

"Ok" Cody says as he gets up, but Shaun stops him. "It's late kiddo. You can do it tomorrow." Shaun says.

Cody has stopped crying.

"You want me to tuck you in?" Shaun asks.

Cody smiles. "Yes."

Shaun tucks him in and turns off the light. "Good night. I love you." Shaun says while closing the door.

Shaun is on the other side of the door and hears "I love you too." And Shaun smiles walking back down stairs.

"Hey." Shaun says to Zach who is still sitting on the couch."

"How'd it go?" Zach asked.

"Great. He's sorry. You know he didn't mean it."

Zach nods. "Yeah." He said not very reassuringly.

"Babe. He's 6. This is just the start of it. I can't even tell you how many times I told my parents I hated them, or wished I could run away when I was a kid. It's a part of showing your independence, testing his limits." Shaun said.

"What if he really believes it? Jeannie hasn't signed over guardianship yet. He's hers, when she comes back he might want to leave." Zach says.

Shaun shakes his head. "Don't even worry about that. He won't go back with her. Everything will work out Zach."

Zach yawns. "Yeah, I hope so."

Shaun reaches for Zach's hand and pulls him off the couch. "Let's go to bed. To sleep!" Shaun says.

Zach kisses Shaun. "Thanks…for everything."

Shaun smiles.

**-The next day. **

Jesse is standing in the waiting room of a Free Health Clinic.

"Jesse Walker." The nurse calls.

Jesse makes his way back. The nurse makes no pleasantries.

"Your results came back. You have Gonorrhea." The nurse says.

Jesse looks stunned. "Ok."

"It's pretty easy to treat. A shot and antibiotics and good as new." The nurse says with a pause. "But you need to contact all your recent sexual partners. They need to be tested, so that it doesn't spread."

Jesse nods his head. "Ok. I will contact them."

"And it's important that you refrain from any sexual intercourse until you get cleared from your follow-up appointment. It's important to always practice safe-sex."

Jesse wants to roll his eyes, but he cracks a smile to shut her up. "Thanks."

Jesse leaves the clinic and gets in his car. "This should be fun." He thinks to himself as he pulls out his phone and dials the first number.

"Hello." The voice answers.

"Hi – uh it's Jesse."

"What the fuck do you want now?" Zach asks.


End file.
